Five tips from happier.com for staying happy and finding success in your job search:
• Want to get a better job, faster? Research shows that for people who are unemployed, the optimists get hired faster, and get better jobs. Even among those people who are laid off within 6 months of getting a job, optimists find another job twice as fast.
• Being unemployed is tough — and not just financially. The mental strain is significant, and it’s easy to feel trapped in a downward spiral of self-defeat and depression. You can protect yourself against the risk of feeling increased mental strain.
• Learn about your strengths. These aren’t the tasks you are good at doing. Instead, strengths are broader traits of your character like fairness, or humility or creativity, ingenuity and originality.. Know your top strengths and be able to talk about them. Find a story to identify how you have used each one in the workplace. Having the vocabulary to describe your strengths can help you make the case to enter a new field of work, with prior experience in another field.
• Identify the good things in life, every day. Searching for work can feel overwhelming and take up time and money. Regardless of what else is going on, take a moment before bed each night to recognize three things that are going well. And think specifically about why they’re going well. Write it down if you want. Research shows that focusing on why things are going well in your own life will help strengthen you mentally and increase your happiness.
• When the thinking gets tough, get happy. We’re wired for narrow-mindedness. When our ancestors got scared, they focused all of their resources on surviving. When they felt secure, they would explore more and think about the broader world. Even today, research shows that when we are unhappy or full of negative emotion, we narrow our thinking and tend to focus in on only one solution. When we experience positive emotion, we think more creatively and can better identify alternative solutions. This is especially relevant to job seekers, where a large study showed that job seekers identified more re-employment opportunities when they were happy, compared to being sad. When you need that boost of creativity, take a moment to listen to a favorite song, go for a walk, spend time with your family, or do something else that makes you feel good.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Angie LeVan is a resilience coach, positive psychology consultant and an associate of Positive Psychology Services, LLC. Angie has studied the science of well-being in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program at University of Pennsylvania, and she is a blogger on the topic of resilience for psychologytoday.com. See her profile in our practitioner directory.
Stress has a bad, bad rap – fair criticism or the product of paranoia? Or perhaps both? While chronic stress can definitely wreak havoc on our minds and bodies, research shows that some stress is actually healthy. Unfortunately, these days, we do everything we can to either avoid it or mute it – from spa treatments to stress management programs to a frosty cold beer. While I certainly agree that managing stress is a smart and useful tactic, I also believe that by going to great to great lengths to avoid it, we’re actually doing ourselves a great disservice. We may be stunting our opportunities for growth. Even when we’re faced with ‘bad’ stress, we have healthy, protective mechanisms for coping with it. In fact, we have the ability to thrive despite and even because of challenge.
In the world of academics, thriving is “characterized by the individual displaying less reactivity when faced with stressors, and resulting in a faster recovery or consistently higher level of functioning”. To the rest of us, thriving is Sweaty Magic – the ability to spin hardship, whether unexpected adversity or self-imposed challenge, into positive growth! But how does one do that, you ask? Interestingly enough, there are many research-supported tricks of the trade for thriving. Above all, Thrivers are masters of challenge and change and grow through challenge and hardship. They know how to lean into stress, how to approach it, relying on their self-resources! Here are a few of the tricks Thrivers use to turn adversity, hardship and challenge into gold-medal value!
1. Thrivers use Positive Illusions
Findings in social cognition research indicate that there are three different types of positive illusions people use towards growth: 1) self-enhancement; 2) unrealistic optimism; and 3) an exaggerated perception of personal control. Researcher Shelly Taylor and colleagues “suggest that the ability to maintain positive illusions provides the individual with reserve resources” for managing everyday stressors as well as in helping people cope with extremely stressful circumstances. According to these psychologists, positive illusions act as buffers and may even help people find meaning, which may later lead to positive growth.
2. Thrivers use Positive Reinterpretation – they look for something good in what has or is happening. For example, when Dan lost his job this past May, he decided to look at it as an opportunity to reassess his career path as well as his life values. In doing so, Dan found a new job he truly enjoys, and he now has more time to spend with his family.
3. Thrivers have a sense of Self-Efficacy (the psychological phenomenon – “I think I can”) – they believe they are capable of handling stressful situations, whether positive or negative, and they also believe that they can succeed in many different areas of life. Hence, the old adage “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right” holds more than a grain of truth, especially when it comes to thriving.
Not only are these tricks vital for growing through hardship, they’re also crucial to achieving your best life through overcoming obstacles in achieving goals and cultivating positive change.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Last Saturday was my son’s last tee ball game, this season. As is the case in tee ball, young kids make lots of mistakes and young, well-meaning parents like to give lots of advice to their 5-year old sons and daughters. At one point in the game, a ground ball rolled through one little boy’s legs, and several parents shouted, “Come on – you have to catch the ball.”
“Well,” I thought to myself, “That’s exactly what he wanted to do!” This little boy needed to be told:
- Keep your glove down
- Put your free hand on top of your glove
- Spread your feet
- Bend your knees
- And, by the way, nice try!
I feel the same way when someone tells me to just “stay positive.” Being optimistic does not come naturally for a great deal of people (including me!). I’m a born pessimist. For the last couple of years, I have practiced several specific techniques to beat back my natural inclination to be pessimistic. The following three exercises have helped me develop what Dr. Martin Seligman refers to as a “flexible optimism” to help me cope with life’s adversities.
- ABCDE: An oldie but a goodie! Dr. Seligman writes about this in Learned Optimism and it may not be new to many of you, but it has become a trusted friend to me. Check out an older post of mine that explains this in detail. Or, try the Control Negative Thoughts exercise on happier.com.
- Put It In Perspective: This is a simple exercise that I learned from Dr. Karen Reivich and Dr. Andrew Shatte, authors of The Resilience Factor. If you are the type of person who overreacts to adversity, this exercise is for you. When something bad happens and you are feeling overwhelmed, take a minute to write down the following. First, articulate the worst case scenario – indulge your pessimism, for a moment. Then, jot down the best case scenario. Be a little silly. For instance, if you find out that you did not get the job that you really wanted, you might write down that you start your own company, become independently wealthy, and give lectures about your successful career for a living! This is not meant to be seen as a realistic scenario. Introducing a little humor opens your mind to other possibilities. Next, write down the most realistic outcomes of the adversity and try to problem solve for the most likely outcomes.
- An Optimism Journal: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, shares that people who write about an optimistic future for 20 minutes a day for four consecutive days were “more likely to show immediate increases in positive moods, to be happier several weeks later, and even to report fewer physical ailments several months hence.”
So, the next time someone close to you is having a bad day, try to avoid saying, “Just be positive” and give some specific advice. You just might be talking to a pessimist.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
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On behalf of Drexel University’s Business of Ambition: Co-Curricular Activities, Programs & Services, Kamina Richardson, Program Manager and co-sponsor happier.com invite you to attend:
“Staying Resilient: Why Happiness is Important in Business”
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Wednesday, October 14th
Antoinette Westphal College of Media Arts & Design
Nesbitt Hall, Ruth Auditorium
33nd and Market Streets
Philadelphia, PA 19104
5 – 6 p.m. Panel Discussion
6-7 p.m. Reception
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When the growth is stagnant and people are losing jobs, why should we care about happiness? What impact does employee happiness have on productivity and engagement, and how do we teach people to be more resilient in the face of adversity? What works for increasing employee happiness?
Leaders in the fields of management, consulting and psychology provide perspectives on staying resilient during tough times: why happiness is important for business. Learn what Merrill Lynch and the U.S. Army are already doing to increase happiness and resilience and hear about the latest findings in the science of happiness.
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Panel Speakers:
Professor Diana Sandberg is an instructor for the Finance Department at LeBow College of Business. She is an expert in Risk Management.
Scott Asalone is partner and co-founder of ASGMC. He co-founded the firm to inspire and guide people in business to be their very best, through the use of his motivational speaking skills and management development expertise. Scott has a Masters Degree in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. He is an affiliate of the American Psychological Association and a member of the International Positive Psychology Association. He is certified in Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, Firo-B, and Dimensional Management techniques.
Karen Reivich, Ph.D. is co-author of The Resilience Factor and of the best-selling The Optimistic Child. Dr. Reivich is a Research Associate at the University of Pennsylvania’s Department of Psychology, and is also the co-director of the Penn Resiliency Project and an instructor in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program in which she teaches a course on Positive Psychology and Individuals.
Adam M. Grant, Ph.D. is an award-winning researcher and Associate Professor of Management at The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Grant’s research focuses on work motivation, job design, pro-social helping and giving behaviors, initiative and proactive behaviors, and employee well-being.
To register: http://www.lebow.drexel.edu/Event/2528 or contact Kamina Richardson 215-571-3568 for additional information.
Media contacts: Christa Guidi, Cashman & Associates, 215.627.1060, cguidi@cashmanandassociates.com or Courtney Sochacki, Cashman & Associates, 215.627.1060, courtney@cashmanandassociates.com
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Last weekend, I decided to teach my kids how to ride their bikes. So, we went out to the garage, took off the training wheels and put on our helmets. Before we started, though, I told both boys, “Just remember, when you feel yourself starting to fall, pedal harder!”
As millions of moms and dads have done before me, I gave the boys some other words of encouragement, put them on the bikes, and held the seat for balance until they were up and running. Then, at the top of my lungs, I yelled, “Pedal harder! You can do it!”
Within seconds, my oldest son decided to ignore my advice and he crashed. No broken bones. No bruises, no scrapes. I ran to him and said, “Nice work! You went about 30 yards all by yourself. Now, bounce back up and let’s try, again.”
For any of you who have taught your kids how to ride a bike, you probably already realized that I repeated this sequence at least a dozen times over the course of that morning. Every time each one of them fell, in a very positive way, I told them to try, again. After a quick break for lunch, the boys were back on their bikes and riding around like pros.
If I had to do it all over, again, I probably wouldn’t change a thing that I said or did (except to have someone else hold the video camera!). While encouraging my sons to keep trying was a good thing, in this case, there are going to be challenges in my sons’ lives where the best decision is to stop trying and give up.
One of the most important lessons that I learned from The Resilience Factor was the idea that resilient people actually do give up. They have the ability to understand that further attempts are not going to change the results of a situation. Resilient people develop a “flexible optimism” that allows them to put their energy, efforts, and resources into the areas of their lives where they stand to gain the most. They look at failing as just another opportunity to learn more about themselves. They then apply this to future situations.
Unfortunately, I do not believe there is a formula that tells you when to give up, but here are some questions you might want to consider if you get the sense that it might be time to move on:
- What resources, experience, or qualities are acquired to achieve this goal?
- Of these resources, experience, and qualities, what am I missing?
- Can I obtain these?
- What is the cost in terms of money, time, effort, etc. to obtain these?
- What are my options if I decide not to pursue this goal?
So, when you find someone telling you to just “pedal harder” don’t be afraid to give up and learn.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
