happier.com blog | a personal trainer for your happiness » positive psych practitioners

What is Solutions-Focused Coaching?

happier.com — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:56:53 +0000

At happier.com, we were pleased to hear about the new workbook and study guide: Positively Speaking. We asked coach and consultant Paul Z. Jackson, the guide’s author, to explain to us the solutions-focused approach that characterizes his work.

What is solutions-focused coaching?

One of the managers I have been coaching complained that her meetings often began (and indeed continued) on a negative note. In an atmosphere of moaning and blame, she was finding it nearly impossible to shift the conversations from such ‘problem-talk’ into discussion of what was wanted and what could be done.

We decided that she would start the next meeting with a warm-up round of introductions, with each participant invited to state one thing that they were looking forward to during the day. She tried this and reported that the meeting was transformed. It turned out that her colleagues were delighted to engage in ‘solution-talk’ – they simply needed to be nudged out of their habits and into a more constructive way of working together.

This skill of shifting conversations from problem-talk to solution-talk can save you and the people around you a great deal of time, reduce stress and generate more positive collaborations. Learn more about these skills with the Positively Speaking workbook.

Paul Z Jackson is an inspirational consultant and coach, who devises and runs training courses and development programs in strategy, leadership, teamwork, creativity and innovation.

Co-director of The Solutions Focus www.thesolutionsfocus.co.uk, Paul is a popular keynote speaker and workshop presenter at conferences around the world.

happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.

What to do with your "Not Grateful For" list on Thanksgiving

happier.com — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:30:12 +0000

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is a member of the happier.com Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. “Using a scientifically based and integrative approach (positive psychology, neurology, yoga and alternative therapies) to enable the Mind, Body, Spirit and Will to flourish.”

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, I get on the phone with my weekly client. She’s feeling guilty that she’s not feeling grateful. She met a woman the night prior whose son was handicapped and was able to walk a little bit. Her outpouring of gratitude, made my client feel worse about her depleted attitude of gratitude. She said she couldn’t even think of what she was grateful for.

When I encouraged her to make her list, she immediately asked if she could make her “not grateful for” list. I said, “Of course.” Positive psychology is not about solely focusing on positive emotions and denying the negative. Here is the exercise that I did with my client that enabled us to work through the negative events she was facing and honor the positive.

- We made two lists: 1) Things she is grateful for in her life and 2) Things she is NOT grateful for in her life.
- She tallied both lists. She had 12 things we was grateful for and 13 things she was not grateful for.

Keeping Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden and Build Theory in mind, I knew that my client needed to be above a ratio of 3 positive to every 1 negative emotion in order to flourish or feel better about her life. This required increasing her gratitude list.

-   I asked her to go back to the list of things she was grateful for and find 24 more things. I explained that anything could be a source of gratitude; it was just a matter of shifting perspectives. At first it was difficult for her, but quickly gratitude for the garbage man, memories of Lake George and knowing that her dog has a good new home, made it to the list.
-   Then we addressed the “NOT grateful for list.” One by one we looked at the things that essentially were not working in her life and reframed them as things that she was wanting. So she was, “not grateful for her friends all starting to move out of the neighborhood.” This discontent alludes to her “wanting strong connections to friends who live nearby.” Her feeling not grateful for her son treating her rudely indicates her strong desire to have a respectful and communicative relationship with her children.
-   I asked her to read back to me her 36 Gratitudes and 13 Wants list.

In my practice, measuring the effectiveness of my work with clients is important. Prior to the start of this exercise I asked her to rate her positive mood on a scale of 1-10 (1 being dismal and 10 being highly positive). She rated herself at a 3 or 4. At the end of this exercise, she gave herself a 5.

Again, I was not trying to create a positive-disillusion in a situation. I was honoring where my client was and using basic tenets of positive psychology to find the area of her life where did have control over, and work there.

After this exercise, she remembered there was a writing class going on in a week that she wanted to register for. Without my prompting, she committed to registering for it as soon as we got off the phone. She was far from being in “peppy land”. However, she had stepped out of her negative rut and seemed to have a handle on some of the negative circumstances of her life.

Negative emotions are beautiful because they alert us to what we are wanting. Reframing “not grateful for lists” in the form of wants enables us creatively problem solve what to do about them. Use this exercise to take control of your reality and your thanks this thanksgiving.

Join the happier.com Community on Facebook for a Chance to Win

Andrew Rosenthal — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:03:08 +0000

Join the happier.com community on facebook to meet other positive psychology enthusiasts, students, researchers and practitioners. Become a “fan” of happier.com on facebook today, to join our community of happiness enthusiasts and for chances to win special discounts, prizes and opportunities.

happier.com on Facebook

Now Available: Positive Psychology Workbooks For Coaches and Enthusiasts

happier.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:21:01 +0000

By invited author Robert Biswas-Diener

A quick look at the shelves in any major bookstore will convince you that positive psychologists have no trouble getting the word out about their exciting new science. Each year literally dozens of titles are published on happiness, meaning and living a better life. Because it is rooted in empirical study Positive Psychology has given the self-help market a much needed scientific makeover. One conspicuous hole in all this new information, however, is a more engaging way of presenting material. Reading books- even best sellers—is inherently a passive activity.

With this in mind a group of top names in Positive Psychology created a series of workbooks designed to allow readers to engage more fully with the material. These workbooks, including titles such as Invitation to Positive Psychology, Positive Motivation and Positively Happy, are written by recognized authorities on the topic. Each workbook, weighing in at more than 100 pages long, is full of reflective exercises and suggested activities that allow readers to go “beyond the books” and actually use this dynamic material in their own lives. Readers gain not only background information on the science but also practical tips, opportunities to step back and take stock of their goals and experiments they can try in an effort to craft a better life.

Learn more about these workbooks.

happier.com Hits the Road with Meetups and Experts in Philly, DC, NYC, Portland, LA, San Francisco and More

happier.com — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:00:59 +0000

It’s a unique opportunity to meet people who share similar interests and get excited about positive psychology. I hope to be turning on more friends in the area to happier.com.
- Patty Ferssizidis from happierDC

Upcoming Meetups

happierPhilly.com
Philadelphia, PA: Thursday, November 19, 6:00pm. A focus on practitioners: The best books, tests, and tools for coaches, consultants and happiness trainers. With special guest, Coach Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, MAPP. Open to everyone, with a focus on practitioners. Register now.

Click here to check out
The happierPhilly – Happiness Group Philadelphia!

happierPortland.com
Portland, OR: Sunday, November 22, 2:00pm. Inaugural Meetup: Surprising Findings from the Science of Happiness. At the inaugural meeting of happierPortland, we’ll have a special guest: noted author and educator Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, author of Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. 40+ registered; limited space still available. Register now.

Click here to check out
The happierPortland – The Portland Happiness Club Meetup!

Online Webinar
Everywhere. Wednesday, December 16, 3:00pm EST. Using happier.com with your Clients: A special Webinar for Positive Psychology Practitioners. This special webinar is designed for positive psychology coaches, consultants, trainers and other practitioners. Join us from your home or office for this one-hour networking and learning opportunity. Hear “what works” from expert positive psychology practitioners. Free. Register online or email with questions.

happierLA.com
Long Beach, CA: Wednesday, January 6, 6:15pm. Ten Tips To Improve Your Happiness NOW! Hosted by UniqueScan, with happier.com co-founder Andrew. Registration is now open.

Click here to check out
The HappierLA!

happierSanFrancisco.com
San Francisco, CA: Thursday, January 7, 6:15pm. Surprising Discoveries from the Science of Happiness: What Works, What Doesn’t, and What You Can Do About It. With happier.com co-founder Andrew. This meetup is a direct result of user interest and organization! Sign up now to reserve your spot.

More meetups are in the works for Boston, DC, New York, Chicago and Seattle. Interested in getting involved in your neck of the woods? Email us.

Click here to check out
The happierSanFrancisco – Happiness Group San Francisco!

Recent Meetups:

happierPhilly.com October 14th, 2009. Philadelphia, PA. Over 75 people RSVP’d for Staying Resilient in Tough Times: Why Happiness is Important in Business. Panelists included Dr. Karen Reivich, author of The Optimistic Child (co-author) and The Resilience Factor and Scott Asalone, Fortune 500 consultant. View pictures.

happierDC.com October 15, 2009. Washington, DC. Dr. Todd Kashdan hosted an intimate conversation: New Findings in Happiness & Personality: Looking Within People, Not Just Between. Attendees were in for a special treat when a crew from CNN came to learn more about the meetup and talk with attendees. View pictures.

Click here to check out
The Happier DC – The Washington DC Happiness Club!

happierNYC.com November 12, 2009. New York, NY. Co-founder Andrew introduced the science-backed tools and tests of happier.com and host Emiliya Zhivotovskaya led the group in positive psychology exercises.

Here’s the presentation from the NYC meetup

happier.com: a personal trainer for your happiness

View more presentations from happier.com.

Video From Todd Kashdan: Tapping Into Your Brain

Michael Durkheimer — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:26:54 +0000

In this video, happier.com expert Dr. Todd Kashdan talks about “Tapping Into Your Brain” and his new research on positive psychology. Very interesting. Enjoy.

Join happier.com in Portland for a Free Event with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

happier.com — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:40:05 +0000

The last ten years of research have lead to a host of surprising findings about the science of happiness. Meet Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, a researcher and instructor known as “The Indiana Jones of Positive Psychology” for his work on happiness in far-flung locations. Robert will share some of his most surprising findings in the science of happiness, and he’ll share the best ways to scientifically-improve happiness. Robert is being hosted by happierPortland.com, a meetup group for people interested in positive psychology and the science of happiness. This is the first meeting of happierPortland, which is being held after similar get-togethers in Philadelphia (happierPhilly.com), New York (happierNYC.com) and Washington, DC (happierDC.com).

Robert Biswas-Diener, D. Phil., is Program Director for the Centre for Applied Positive Psychology and a part-time instructor at Portland State University. He is widely known as the “Indiana Jones of Positive Psychology” because his research has taken him to such far-flung destinations as Greenland, Kenya and India where he has studied the happiness of often-overlooked groups such as Amish farmers, tribal people and sex workers. Robert’s research focuses on the intricate interplay between money, culture and happiness. He is on the editorial board of the Journal of Positive Psychology, the Journal of Happiness Studies, and is the associate editor of Journal of Personality. Robert is co-author of Happiness: Unlocking the mysteries of psychological wealth (2008), which won the 2008 PROSE Award.

In addition to his research on well-being Robert is also a thought leader in the application of positive psychological science. Robert is a Certified Mentor Coach and has conducted positive psychology trainings for therapists, coaches, managers and consultants in Iceland, Denmark, England, Scotland, Turkey, South Africa, Israel, India, Canada and the United States. He is author of the book Positive Psychology Coaching (2007) and the forthcoming Practicing Positive Psychology Coaching (2010)

Positive Psychology practitioners will particularly enjoy this opportunity to network, share best-practices, and learn from one of the leaders in the field. And your clients are welcome to attend this free event — in other cities, coaches and consultants have suggested clients attend these meetups, to great success.

Multnomah County Central Library
U.S. Bank Room (Ground Floor)
801 SW 10th Ave
Portland, OR 97205

Sunday, 11/22, 3-4:30pm
No charge.
View happierPortland.com November Meetup in a larger map

RSVP required, at http://happierPortland.com
Questions? Contact the happierPortland host, Andrew Rosenthal: andrew.rosenthal@happier.com; 215.629.9210 x 3.

Happier JoinMe | Create Your Badge

Click here to check out
The happierPortland – The Portland Happiness Club Meetup!

Special Free Program for Practitioners: Thursday at 6pm, in Philadelphia

happier.com — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:30:49 +0000

This meetup will focus on practitioners. A definition of different types of practitioners is online including Educators, Executive Coaches, Life Coaches, Therpaists, OD Consultants, and Wellness Coaches. We’ll focus on the practice of positive psychology and discuss best practices.

Special guest and November meetup leader is Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, an organizer of Happiness Club NY, the world’s largest!

Emiliya is a practitioner herself and will be leading a special workshop of particular interest to positive psychology practitioners. All people are welcome.

Easily accessible to public transportation and parking. Blue Line at 34th and Market and Green Line at 36th and Walnut.

Penn Bookstore

3601 Walnut, 2nd Floor

Philadelphia, PA 19104

RSVP today online: http://www.meetup.com/HappierPhilly/calendar/11509013/

Click here to check out
The happierPhilly – Happiness Group Philadelphia!

Five Great Books on Organizational Leadership

happier.com — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:34:40 +0000

This list of 5 Great Books on Organizational Leadership was compiled by a member of Positive Psychology Practitioners group on LinkedIn. More than 700 practitioners share best practices, problem-solve, and network with this free group . Join today.

Building the Bridge As You Walk On It: A Guide for Leading Change (J-B US non-Franchise Leadership)
by Robert Quinn. Phenomenal. Outstanding on leadership, but, as the stories in the book suggest, perhaps even more important to being a parent, friend, spouse, community member.

Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance
by Kim Cameron. This book is short, to the point, and the best summation of how the findings of positive psychology apply to organizations. To me, this book didn’t carry the emotional wallop of Building the Bridge as You Walk on It, but it certainly can help clarify the constructs and how they fit in the world of business and organizations.

Strengths-Based Leadership
by Tom Rath. This books builds on the strengths research underlying Gallup’s other books with lots of new research specifically applicable to leadership. Like the other books, it includes an access code to take the online Strengthsfinder 2.0 instrument, but in a version that comes with a report that focuses on leadership. The book describes how the 34 strengths themes group into four domains of leadership: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, and Strategic Thinking. These are illustrated with stories of four significant leaders, each working out of a set of strengths in one of the four domains. Finally, the authors report on Gallup’s research into the four basic needs of followers: Trust (honesty, integrity, respect); Compassion (caring, friendship, happiness, love); Stability (security, strength, support, peace), and Hope (direction, faith, guidance). Highly useful and original.

Making the Impossible Possible: Leading Extraordinary Performance: The Rocky Flats Story
by Kim Cameron and Marc Lavine. This is the story of how the same workers who were operating the Rocky Flats nuclear weapons plant — with lots of union grievances — managed to close and cleanup that facility in 1/10th the estimated time, at 1/6th the estimate cost, and to standards 13 times greater than federal requirements. Plus you get a real introduction to key areas of Dr. Cameron’s work. Excellent, and inspiring!

Energize Your Workplace: How to Create and Sustain High-Quality Connections at Work
by Jane Dutton. Dr. Dutton gives both the research on the importance of relationships at work — she calls them “high quality connections — and specific approaches to making and sustaining such connections, and helping those you lead to do the same. We are not talking deep intimacy here, just the quick, human-to-human link that lets emotional and cognitive information flow freely.

Three Ways that Comfort and Convenience Make Us Less Happy

happier.com — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:45:28 +0000

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach, positive psychology consultant and an associate of Positive Psychology Services, LLC. Angie has studied the science of well-being in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program at University of Pennsylvania, and she is a blogger on the topic of resilience for psychologytoday.com. See her profile in our practitioner directory.

Can Comfort and Convenience Undermine Your Well-being?

Most of us will do anything to avoid challenge, discomfort or even the slightest bit of inconvenience (hence, the Clapper, remote controls and Velcro). But by doing so, are we doing more harm than good when it comes to our well-being?

I’ll be the first to admit, there are some conveniences I just can’t live without. After all, who doesn’t love the iPhone?! But let’s face it — modern-day conveniences have made it easier than ever to do less, to spend endless hours on our derrières and to just be ‘comfortable’ — perhaps too comfortable?

Think about it. We’re living during a time when everything we want is right at our fingertips (thanks to the Internet and credit cards). Yet, we’re less happy today than our ancestors were when food was sparse, career paths were non-existent and before 18 year-olds drove sports cars. According to researchers, less than 20% of people (1 in 5) are actually ‘flourishing’ – living the ‘good life’. Worse yet, about the same number of people report symptoms of depression and anxiety! Through comfort and convenience have we lost opportunities to have an engaging and meaningful life? Have we sacrificed opportunities to develop the resources that truly enable us to thrive in life?

3 Ways Comfort and Convenience May be Short-changing Your Well-being:

1) An Epidemic of Inactivity: Not surprisingly, physical inactivity has reached epidemic proportion. Heart disease, obesity, diabetes and a number of other physical and mental disorders are on the rise – a result of modern conveniences?

So, get off your rear and take an active approach to life! For great tips on boosting your brawn and energy, check out these books: Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You’re 80 and Beyond and Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain.

2) Less Opportunity for Growth: When we’re exposed to minor stressors or challenges, we have an opportunity to build the mental resources necessary to actively cope with future hardship. Less challenge equals less opportunity to build the precious, mental resources that, leveraged appropriately, can enable a person to thrive.

For more information on building resilience, see The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles. Also, see this happier.com online exercise for building resilience.

3) False Hopes for an Easy Ride: In a technology-driven world, it’s easy to fall prey to expectations for an easy ride in life. But that’s just not how it works — and perhaps that’s not how it should! Happiness takes work. It takes real effort and persistence to achieve the life you most desire.

Adopt a different mindset. Learn to love challenge and effort, and step out of your ‘comfort zone’ by finding safe ways to challenge yourself!

Stay tuned for more on how use challenge as pathway to a thriving life!