Dr. Acacia Parks is an instructor in positive psychology, a researcher and a member of the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. Dr. Parks has taught a variety of classes on how to use positive psychology interventions, and she often gets questions from students and clients about what will work best for them.
Question: I read about the “Active and Constructive Responding” exercise and I am pretty sure I already respond this way when people come to me with good news. Can this exercise still be useful for me?
Answer: Most people don’t think of themselves as a spoilsport who responds negatively (or not at all) when people come to them with good news. However, we have all had the experience of going to someone with good news and not getting the response we want. It happens. I promise that at one point or another, you have done this. There’s always room for improvement! If you consider yourself a practiced Active-Constructive Responder, here are some tips for taking this exercise to the next level:
1. Be more attentive – that is, be on constant lookout for opportunities to respond Actively and Constructively. Try to spot good news when it is less than obvious – people don’t always come to you bursting with obvious excitement when they have good news to report.
2. See if you can completely eliminate Passive-Constructive responses from your repertoire. Any time you find yourself saying “cool” or “that’s nice” see if you can muster something more enthusiastic. Any good news that’s worth acknowledging is worth acknowledging with gusto!
3. Challenge yourself to turn good news into great news. Instead of just sharing in the other person’s enthusiasm, see if you can increase it by finding even more aspects of the situation to be excited about.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Sally Augustin, Ph.D. is a guest blogger for happier.com and a member of the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory.
Positive places enhance our lives – they are spaces where we thrive now and flourish in the future.
Positive places improve our experiences by:
1. Communicating. Human beings are social animals, and in positive places we can mingle with other people, when we choose. In positive spaces we not only communicate verbally with others, but also send personally desirable nonverbal messages about ourselves as people. Members of a culture can “read” the nonverbal communication of culture-mates, and we feel that nonverbal information is more honest than spoken statements. Place-based nonverbal communication is why we get so worked up about furniture selections – a lot of furniture is equally comfortable, but the style of the particular furniture we select from among those equally comfortable options speaks eloquently about who we are as a person. Why do you think we love video tours of celebrities’ homes? We want to know who they really are.
2. Comforting. A place comforts us in many ways – colors and scents can sooth, sounds can calm, and opportunities to control the space can reduce stress, for example – but people often don’t consider how a space can help them restock their psychological batteries. When we work mentally, we tire our brain and reduce the mental energy at our disposal – just as we can wear down the charge in batteries. Our mental batteries are rechargeable, happily. When we look out a window at nature or into a fish tank or at a fire (or watch nature, fish or fire videos), we are transported from our physical location into a different place mentally, a place where interesting things happen that we can understand effortlessly. While we’re in that place, energy flows back into our cognitive centers. A place that helps us restock our mental batteries is comforting.
3. Challenging. One of our fundamental human needs is to grow and develop in ways that interest us. Different people have different self-enhancement plans, so the ways that places can challenge us to change need to vary – a studio to practice the cello is different from a woodworking shop or a hideaway to write a great novel, but all three can help a person achieve their own personal goals.
4. Complying. A positive space supplies us with the tools we need to do whatever activities we’ve planned there – it’s hard to cook a roast in a bathtub. If we’re doing thoughtful work, we need to be able to focus without distractions, which many people designing home and workplace offices forget.
5. Continuing. A positive place has the ability to evolve as our place-based needs change – too many built ins can turn out to be way too much.
Use the 5 C’s for positive places (communicate, comfort, challenge, comply, and continue) when you’re in different spaces – home, school, office, . . . – to determine if you’re a place that will enhance your life – or not. Watch for additional blog posts here to learn how you can turn negative places into positive ones.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Dr. Acacia Parks is an instructor in positive psychology, a researcher and a member of the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. Dr. Parks has taught a variety of classes on how to use positive psychology interventions, and she often gets questions from students and clients about what will work best for them.
Question: I’m unhappy. My Authentic Happiness Index results show I’m on the lower-end of the range, and I don’t feel cheery or upbeat. What should I focus on with happier.com?
Answer: You’ll likely benefit the most from exercises that focus on positive emotions. From my experience teaching and the research data, we get an idea of what works for what type of person.
The Three Good Things exercise, for example, will help you to focus on the positive aspects of your day, which research tells us often fall through the cracks of memory. It sometimes takes a week or two to see the benefits, but people who use Three Good Things on a regular basis report sustained decreases in depressive symptoms and increases in positive emotion.
Two exercises on HDC reliably produce large and immediate increases in positive emotion: Have a Good Day, which helps you plan a day full of pleasant activities, and the Gratitude Letter, in which you write a letter expressing in detail your gratitude for someone else’s contribution to your life.
We know from research by Barbara Fredrickson and colleagues that positive emotion leads to creativity and flexible thinking – as someone who experiences low levels of positive emotion, these exercises can give you the boost that you need.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
By guest contributor Gloria Park Perin
When chronic exercisers are asked about the top reason they engage in physical activity, the #1 reason they cite are shifts in mood, namely increases in experienced positive emotion. Unfortunately, exercise isn’t instant gratification, and most people won’t experience the mood-boosting effects of exercise until they have developed a regular routine for several weeks.
Keep an exercise log. Record the date and time of activity, the intensity, and the length of each session of physical activity. Also note if you were alone, or with a friend, and how much you enjoyed the activity. Free tools are available online and even on your iPhone.
Monitor your mood. At the end of each day, log into Happier and use the Positivity Test or Authentic Happiness Index to track changes in your positivity ratio or happiness levels. Record your scores in the exercise log.
Use feedback to revise your strategy. After several weeks, go back and review the log. Are there specific types of activities that boost your mood over others? Does the time of day for exercise seem to have an impact? Take note of these patterns and adjust your routine.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
By guest contributor Gloria Park Perin
Taking on an approach versus avoidance mindset can do wonders for motivation. Sure, dropping the saddlebags and squeezing into a bikini are great goals for exercise, but instead of focusing on some aspect of yourself that you want to change or lose, why not ask yourself what you might gain in terms of vitality and the physical capacity to pursue a good life?
Create a vision of the future. Start by thinking about what is most important to you and work from there. Are your children the most important to you? Or developing your entrepreneurial endeavors? Write down what you envision as your best possible future.
Think about the tangible rewards. Articulate what you could potentially gain in these areas of your life by becoming more active: More energy to run around and play with your children? Increased ability to handle daily stressors in managing and growing your business?
Finally, set positively worded goals. “I will” vs. “I won’t” or “I hope to gain” vs. “I hope to lose”. Write these down and revisit them frequently.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
