happier.com blog | a personal trainer for your happiness » gratitude

An Interview With Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

Doug Hensch — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:01:01 +0000

You’ve probably heard of Gretchen Rubin. More than 60,000 people subscribe to her blog The Happiness Project and email newsletter, and the blog is carried on outlets including Slate, the Huffington Post and RealSimple.com. December, 2009 will bring the publication of her book, The Happiness Project, available for pre-order at a discount through the happier.com store.

In Gretchen’s words:

My happiness project has convinced me that it’s possible to be happier by taking small, concrete steps in your daily life. In my book and on this daily blog, I write about what I’ve learned as I’ve test-driven the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture. Plutarch, Samuel Johnson, Benjamin Franklin, St. Thérèse, the Dalai Lama, Oprah, Martin Seligman…I cover it all.

Doug, a member of the team at happier.com, recently asked Gretchen about her journey so far:

What initially made you interested in writing about happiness?

I was riding on a city bus on a rainy day, and I had a rare moment of reflection. “What do I want from life, anyway?” I thought. “I want to be happy.” But I realized I didn’t spend any time thinking about what it meant to be happy, or whether I was happy, or how I could be happier. At that moment I thought, “I should have a happiness project – and think about happiness, and make changes in my life, in a systematic way!” (I’m a former lawyer so that’s my way of approaching things.) I started my happiness project the next day. I didn’t immediately think about writing a book about it; that came later.

What would you say is the single easiest way for people to be happier at Work? Home? Social life?

Philosophers and scientists agree: probably THE key to happiness is having strong relationships with other people. Make time for the people in your life. Make some fun plans. Join or start a group. Help someone else. Call someone. Remember birthdays. Celebrate holidays. Get to know someone new. The more strong relationships you have, the more likely you are to describe yourself as very happy.

What is the most surprising thing that you have learned about happiness over your year with the happiness project?

I was surprised to discover the truth of the theory that “novelty and challenge bring happiness.” I thought that in my case, familiarity and mastery would bring more happiness. But to test that theory, I started a blog – a challenge that made me feel intimidated and insecure. And my blog has turned into a GIGANTIC source of happiness for me. So now I look for other ways to bring novelty and challenge into my life. It’s a taxing way to get happiness, but it’s worth it, because it yields such great bang for the buck.

Who are the happiest people that you have encountered?

What qualities did they have? Do you have any stories about people that immediately come to mind? That’s a great question. It’s really worth studying the people who seem very happy, because they have qualities that we can all emulate. They seem very kind. Kindness is a much-overlooked virtue, to my mind. They seem light-hearted – even if they aren’t playful (which they sometimes are, but not always), they can laugh at themselves and at tough situations. They are loving: they really listen, they go out of their way to help even when it’s not convenient, they think about other people’s needs.

But happy people come in different flavors. Some are goofy, some are serene, some are intense. It’s interesting, though, how attractive they are. When you’re around a really happy person, you want to be around that person MORE.

What often disguises itself as happiness, or a road to happiness, but is actually not?

I think people often give themselves a “treat” when they want a happiness boost – but all too often, the things we do to treat ourselves don’t make us happy in the long run. Having an extra glass of wine, eating ice cream out of the carton, having a cigarette, splurging on a new pair of shoes, leaving a big mess…these are things that feel like a treat but in the end, often make us feel worse. If you feel the urge to give yourself a treat, ask yourself, “Will this really make me happy, in the long run?” Try to find ways to treat yourself that don’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.

If you are feeling down, what can you do to give yourself a boost?

One of the quickest ways to give yourself a boost is to do something nice for someone else. Here’s a suggestion: become an organ donor! Sign the online registry and/or tell your family you want to be a donor. With that single quick act, you may save the life of five people one day! It’s huge! If you’re already an organ donor, try taking a ten-minute walk outside. It will boost your energy, heighten your alertness, and break up your day. Even better, take a friend with you.

Do you have a favorite happiness quote or metaphor?

Ah, I have so manyI I love quotations and have so many wonderful quotations. Here’s one: “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson

happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.

Count Your Blessings with happier.com – Positive Psychology Facilitates Faith

happier.com — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:11:01 +0000

This post was originally published on The BridgeMaker, and written by Michael, part of the team at happier.com.

You have always been told to “count your blessings.” This is a tradition that has been passed down for generations and is a central value in the lives of many people. But does this age-old motto actually make people happier?

New research at some of the top universities in the world has shown that it does! People who practice the act of counting their blessings every night, and many other age-old customs of faith, have now been proven to be correlated with living more happy, productive and fulfilled lives. In fact, there is a new field of research that has exploded over the past 10 years called positive psychology, commonly referred to as the “science” of happiness.

Like “counting your blessings,” many age-old ideals have been put to the test, and researchers have now found proof to back up many of our most ingrained traditions. happier.com is a new website that takes these tested philosophies and puts them into easy-to-follow exercises so that anyone can boost their mood, productivity, and quality of relationships on a daily basis.

For example, happier.com helps its users count their blessings and track their successes with an exercise called “Three Good Things.” You can see demo videos of all of the exercises here, and an explanation of why the “Three Good Things” exercise works here.

More about Positive Psychology:

In the past, psychology has primarily focused on the question “What makes really sad people sad?” Positive Psychology asks the question “What make really happy people happy?” – and they have found some exciting and often counter-intuitive answers!

In the last 10 years, the “science” of happiness has exploded – and expert researchers have pinpointed many of the simple traits that make people more optimistic, productive and fulfilled in their lives.

Many of these complicated findings have been boiled down into easy to use tests and exercises which, when practiced on a regular basis, have been shown to increase a person’s overall optimism and confidence, build stronger relationships, and help people be more productive and fulfilled in both their work and home lives … by an average of 20% in only 8 to 12 weeks! Because it is rooted in science and RESULTS, positive psychology has shown that it can change lives and turn around relationships.

This post was originally published on The BridgeMaker, described as an honestly written lifestyle blog that focuses on the importance of faith, inspiration and stories of personal change. Posts fall into three ares: faith, inspiration, and stories of change.

The BridgeMaker is one of the fastest growing faith-based blogs on the Internet with over half a million readers in the last nine months and a world-wide audience from over 201 countries (source: Google Analytics). It has been featured on Deepak Chopra’s Sirius/XM satellite radio show, Wellness Radio, Self Improvement magazine, Zen Habits.net, LifeHacker.com and Intent.com.

When we launched happier.com, we reached out to Alex Blackwell to talk about how our tools might be relevant to the faith community. What resulted was this post, guest-authored by Michael, part of the team at happier.com.

Coaching with Happiness: Emiliya’s Tip for Teaching Clients to Build Their Positivity Ratio

happier.com — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:07:10 +0000

We asked Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, a member of the Positive Psychology Practitioners Directory, how she uses happier.com in her work.

As a Happiness Coach I use many of the happier.com and positive psychology tools with my coaching clients. One of the most powerful tools is through the gratitude or Three Good Things exercise. I use this to apply Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden and Build Theory that positive emotions enable people to think creatively and proactively; positive emotions build intellectual, physical, social and psychological resources.

When most clients start coaching, there is some sort of pain or problem they are facing. They are unemployed seeking employment, their personal relationships are no longer satisfying, they are not happy in their bodies and need to make a change or their in a place of baseline “surviving” instead of thriving. If they weren’t in that place of dissatisfaction with something in their life they wouldn’t be seeking to learn tools and be supported by a coach.

Negative emotions on the other hand narrow our focus. To put it in another way, when you’ve stubbed your big toe, you’re not thinking about donating money to children in need in third world countries. When we are in pain we focus all of our attention on the immediacy of the pain with little regard for what’s happening around is that is incongruent with that pain.

When my clients are in that dissatisfied place, we have to first start building their positivity ratio so that we can problem solve, think creatively about how to utilize the resources they have around them, or to simply get them moving forward towards their goals. First, I start with where the client already is and tap into the positive emotion of HOPE. They have come to coaching because they are, at some level, hopeful that this will help them get more of what they want out of life.

Then we further build their positivity through the Three Good Things exercise. There is always something to be grateful for, whether it is big or small. It’s simply a matter of shifting your focus. Sometimes when clients start with me, it’s hard to find much positive going on in their lives. It’s not that they are depressed; they are in a negative space.

I send my clients to discover and utilize the Three Good Things exercise. I encourage them to use it daily for at least two weeks. We usually find that their happiness and optimism level increases, just like the research supports. As a coach, I don’t give my clients solutions. I ask them questions. The answers to questions such as, “What kinds of tasks do you enjoy doing?” or “What kind of characteristics would you love in a partner?” are easier to come up with when we’ve increased their positivity. Often we find resources, people and opportunities that already exist in their lives that they’ve simply overlooked because they simply were not looking for them in their negative state of mind. I’ve found that utilizing the Three Good Things tool has made coaching more effective for my clients and encourage others to try it out for themselves.

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is a member of the happier.com Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. “Using a scientifically based and integrative approach (positive psychology, neurology, yoga and alternative therapies) to enable the Mind, Body, Spirit and Will to flourish.”

Is gratitude profitable? How Hyatt hotels is using gratitude to improve their bottom line

Andrew Rosenthal — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:04:40 +0000

Hyatt hotels seems to think so. In a new program this summer, the worldwide hotel chain’s CEO empowered employees to bestow unexpected gifts and benefits on customers. The goal? The bottom line. “Gratitude is a powerful, and potentially quite profitable, emotion to inspire” according to the Rob Walker of the New York Times Magazine. While it’s questionable if these “acts of generosity” can really be called “random,” the impact should be the same: developing gratitude in customers. And according to a recent article in the Journal of Marketing (link is a PDF), gratitude can “increase purchase intentions, sales growth, and share of wallet.”

The New York Times Magazine column Consumed includes additional information and commentary.

What do you think?

In USA TODAY: Happiness – Staying Positive in Negative Territory

happier.com — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 05:18:03 +0000

This great article includes work by Robert Biswas-Diener and Todd Kashdan. Both are featured experts on happier.com.

Happiness: Staying positive in negative territory

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

TORONTO — Pursuing happiness may be an inalienable right, but it’s tougher keeping those spirits up while your 401(k) is lower than it used to be.

Part of the reason, say those who study the subject, is that you may be looking for happiness in all the wrong places. People can be happy in an economic slump — they just have to change their ideas about what it takes to be happy, say a growing number of psychologists who study “positive psychology,” which emphasizes the benefits of optimism and having a positive outlook.

Although past studies have found those who live in countries with higher per capita incomes report many measures of greater well-being, it’s psychological wealth that helps people get through tough times, say researchers Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener, who will present new findings at the four-day annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, which opens here today. About 10,000 psychology professionals are expected to attend.

Though money helps people lead more comfortable lives, it doesn’t necessarily contribute to the moments in life that bring happiness — which tend to come from social interactions and activities, not from accumulating material goods.

“Wealth really means having what you need, and money gives only one part of what we need,” says Diener, a psychology professor at the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign.

Diener and his son Biswas-Diener, a psychologist and lecturer at Portland (Ore.) State University, co-wrote a 2008 book, Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. They will present findings of a survey of 136,000 people in 132 countries on how income and wealth relate to psychological needs.

“When you look at the entire world, money does matter,” Diener says. “But it almost doesn’t matter at all for enjoying life.”

He says he and his wife had to cut back on spending when the stock market dropped. “It has mattered zero to our happiness,” he says. “We did have to make some tough decisions on what we can’t do,” such as canceling a trip with their five grandkids to Alaska.

They saved $10,000 by having the kids visit them at home in Salt Lake City instead. “It was not only OK, in some ways it was better. Without the traveling, life becomes slightly simpler and less hectic.”

Simplicity is a silver lining to the downturn, says psychologist Robert Wicks.

“In the up economy, people were successful, but in many cases, they were missing their lives,” says Wicks, a psychology professor at Loyola University Maryland in Columbia and author of Bounce: Living the Resilient Life, out next month.

“They weren’t spending time really enjoying themselves and weren’t spending time with family and friends. The simplicity that’s possible during difficult economic times would not come to the fore if a crisis had not occurred.”

Some research suggests focusing on gratitude can increase happiness.

Gender plays a role

A study by Todd Kashdan, director of the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and Related Phenomena at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va., published online in the Journal of Personality earlier this year, finds that gender plays a role in achieving well-being: Men are much less likely than women to feel and express gratitude.

Carla White, a website designer in Sioux Falls, S.D., says keeping a daily journal about things she’s grateful for allowed her to feel happy again after grappling with her father’s death for 18 months — unsuccessfully, she says.

“I think what a gratitude journal does is it shows me I actually have some good stuff in my life. I feel at peace. I feel happy because of that,” she says.

White, who also faced the prospect of job loss last year, has created a gratitude journal iPhone application, which she launched at the end of the year.

Anthony Scioli, a psychology professor at Keene State College in Keene, N.H., says he has tried to distance himself somewhat from the segment of positive psychology that focuses on happiness in the here and now.

“We do not live just in the moment. Philosophically, one could even say it is impossible to live in the moment because time is fleeting, and most of the ‘time’ we live in the future and the past,” he says. “Hope is predominantly about the future, but is also fueled by past experiences of success, empowerment, connection, security, coping.”

Scioli will present research on hope at an APA session on Friday.

“Hope brings a special kind of happiness, a more permanent form,” says Scioli, co-author of Hope in the Age of Anxiety, with clinical psychologist Henry Biller of the University of Rhode Island-Kingston.

“Hopeful people are sustained by the belief that there are always options,” Scioli says. “Diversify investments, consider a different line of work, or pick up a temporary part-time job. Rent a room in your house for extra income. Hopeful people are more apt to stay calm in a crisis due to their broader life perspective and faith in the future.”

But sometimes having hope and wanting to be happy aren’t so easy, especially when so many people have been laid off or can’t find work.

That’s when happiness really suffers, says Biswas-Diener, of Milwaukie, Ore., who is also program director for the Centre of Applied Positive Psychology in the United Kingdom.

“The truth is you do take a hit where your happiness is concerned if you get laid off,” he says, but “money is only one of the reasons. It’s the stress associated with not being able to pay bills. Also, jobs provide meaning. They structure your time. They give you a sense of identity. They allow you to provide for your loved ones. When you take away these critical psychological components, people really do feel it.”

Experiences trump stuff

Psychologists also have found that being highly materialistic affects happiness, with those who are most concerned about money and possessions actually being less happy.

Keeping too close tabs on the economy, such as daily monitoring of economic indicators that have been on a roller-coaster ride since the recession began, also hinders happiness.

“We find that people whose moods are up and down a lot are less happy. People who are less reactive to every event, in general, are happier,” Diener says.

But what about what money can buy? Previous research has found that using money to pay for something novel, social or experiential brings more happiness than buying things.

Some newer studies confirm these results. San Francisco State University researchers presented findings earlier this year to the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, based on what participants said about their purchases.

They said they thought eating out or buying theater tickets was money better spent than on more things, such as a new tech toy or clothing, and the experiential purchase provided greater happiness for themselves and others, regardless of the amount they paid or their income.

Making happy memories

The researchers suggest that’s because experiences can provide happy memories, which don’t wear away as fast as the rush of buying a new possession.

But a study in this month’s Journal of Consumer Research found that negative experiences can turn the theory upside down.

Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin and Washington University in St. Louis found that a bad experience, like a vacation gone wrong, can have a more negative impact on happiness than other spending of a comparable amount.

Humans are predisposed to pay greater attention to the negative, psychologists say.

That’s partly evolutionary because humans automatically turn their attention to anything threatening before paying attention to rewards, says Diener — ignoring a lion’s threat, for example, could make you a goner, while ignoring something good isn’t a matter of survival.

Focusing on what’s good and the special moments that bring happiness to people’s lives is why Pamela Gail Johnson of Lewisville, Texas, says she created the Secret Society of Happy People.

Johnson says the group, started in 1998, has struck a nerve with at least 7,000 people she counts as official members.

The website (www.sohp.com) has had more traffic since the downturn, she says.

“When they’re in this global uncertainty, they start asking these tougher questions,” she says. ‘Do I need three cars? Does that make me happy?’ “

Johnson urges people to savor the happy moments, even in the midst of financial chaos.

“If your basic needs are met, happiness is not about money,” she says.

A Day With the Happiest Man in the World – from the New York Times

happier.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:23:35 +0000

Here’s a nice piece from the New York Times blog Happy Days

Sitting Quietly, Doing Something

By Daniel Goleman

I recently spent an evening with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, the Tibetan lama who has been dubbed “the happiest man in the world.” True, that title has been bestowed upon at least a few extremely upbeat individuals in recent times. But it is no exaggeration to say that Rinpoche is a master of the art of well-being.

So how did he get that way? Apparently, the same way you get to Carnegie Hall. Practice.

Courtesy of Crown Publishers Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Rinpoche a bit over the years, and always found him in good cheer. This meeting was no different. When I called him at his Manhattan hotel to arrange to get together before we were to discuss his new book, “Joyful Wisdom” at the 92nd St. Y, he told me he was in the middle of a shower – but not in the usual sense. The shower, he told me, had run out of hot water midway. When he called the front desk, he was told to wait several minutes and there would be more hot water. In this situation, I probably would have been peeved. But as Rinpoche told me this, he was laughing and laughing.

The only momentary glitch I’ve witnessed — a few years back — was slapstick: he sat down in an office chair with a faulty seat that suddenly plunged several inches with a thump. Once when this chair had done the same to me I cursed and groused about it for a while. But Rinpoche just frowned for a second — and the next moment he was his upbeat self again. Quickness of recovery time from upsets is one way science takes the measure of a happy temperament.

While annoyances like these are hardly life’s greatest tests, handling them gracefully takes a composure that few of us seem to have at our disposal.

Mingyur Rinpoche was not born into wealth and comfort. He spent his earliest years in a remote Himalayan village lacking even the most basic amenities. Nor was he a lucky winner in the genetic lottery for moods. In his book he recounts being extremely anxious as a child in Nepal, having had what a Manhattan psychiatrist would likely diagnose as panic attacks, and how he cured himself of this chronic anxiety by making his fears the focus of his meditation. He has had to earn his good cheer.

Rinpoche seems eclectic in studying paths to well-being, including Western recipes. A few years ago, he attended a five-day meeting at the Mind & Life Institute that brought together a group of neuroscientists and the Dalai Lama to discuss ways to overcome destructive emotions. He found that the Western scientific findings on emotions had much in common with his own approach to cultivating well-being.

But when it comes to his own pursuit of happiness, Buddhist theory and practice are Rinpoche’s chosen tools. He has done several years-long meditation retreats, under the tutelage of some of the most renowned Tibetan masters. Of course, what we mean by “happiness” can be elusive, what with the myriad varieties of good feeling running from ecstasy to equanimity. One flavor of happiness at which Rinpoche seems to excel has been well-studied by scientists specializing in how emotions operate in our brains.

Richard Davidson, who heads the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin, has found one distinct brain profile for happiness. As Davidson’s laboratory has reported, when we are in distress, the brain shows high activation levels in the right prefrontal area and the amygdala. But when we are in an upbeat mood, the right side quiets and the left prefrontal area stirs. When showing this brain pattern, people report feeling, as Davidson put it to me, “positively engaged, goal-directed, enthusiastic, and energetic.”

Mingyur Rinpoche came to Davidson’s lab as one of a dozen or so meditation adepts, each of whom had put in anywhere between 10,000 and 50,000 lifetime hours of meditation. Research on expertise in any skill shows that world-class champs have put in at least 10,000 hours of practice; these were Olympic-level meditators.

One of the first findings from the research showed that when these adepts meditated on compassion, their right prefrontal areas jumped in activity an average 100 percent — by contrast a control group who were taught the same meditation practice showed an increase of just 10 percent. Two of the adepts had spectacular increases, in the 700-to-800-percent range, in key neural zones for good feeling. The more lifetime hours of practice, the greater the increases tended to be. All this seems to confirm the idea that in the realm of positive moods, as in nearly every endeavor, worldly or spiritual, practice matters.

So can we all get a taste of Rinpoche’s bliss?

Davidson worked with Jon Kabat-Zinn, a teacher of mindfulness meditation from the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, to see how a group of novices might gain from these methods. Kabat-Zinn, who has pioneered this contemplative method with medical patients to ease their symptoms, taught mindfulness at a high-stress biotech company; these beginners meditated for 30 minutes a day for eight weeks. Davidson’s measures showed that after the eight weeks they had begun to activate that left prefrontal zone more strongly — and were saying that instead of feeling overwhelmed and hassled, they were enjoying their work. So while the Calvinist strain in American culture may look askance at someone sitting quietly in meditation, this kind of “doing nothing” seems to do something remarkable after all.

Of course, there’s no guarantee of greater happiness from meditation, but the East has given us a promising path for its pursuit.

Another fruit of these spiritual practices seems to be a healthy dose of humility. When Rinpoche told my wife that he was being billed as “the happiest man in the world,” he laughed as though that were the funniest joke he’d ever heard.

Daniel Goleman reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for 12 years. He is the author of several books, including his most recent, “Ecological Intelligence: How Knowing the Hidden Impacts of What We Buy Can Change Everything.” His Web site is www.DanielGoleman.info.

Six Tips for Taking Positive Psychology To Work

happier.com — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:16:59 +0000

By Kathryn Britton
Associate Certified Coach and Master of Applied Positive Psychology
(Note: original version of the article first appeared here on PositivePsychologyNews.com and in a previous form on the happier.com blog.)

There are many facets of work and life in general that we do not control. But we can increase our control over our own responses to them. One way to raise our overall level of well-being even in the face of trouble and stress is to practice and grow stronger at being grateful.

Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, and Schkade (2006) argue that one’s chronic happiness level is determined partly by a genetic baseline or set point (50%), partly by circumstances (10%), and partly by intentional activity (40%). Practicing gratitude is an intentional activity that can make a real and ongoing difference in chronic happiness levels. Emmons and McCullough (no date) report that people who conduct certain gratitude exercises are healthier and feel better about their lives, make more progress toward goals, are more optimistic, and are more likely to help others than people in control groups

So how do we increase the level of gratitude we experience in our jobs and our lives? Here are a few suggestions:

Pay attention to good things, large and small. This often requires intentional thought because bad things are more salient to us than good things. For example, I have a friend in his 80’s with arthritis in his hands. He becomes aware of it whenever he knocks something over or has trouble picking something up. I suggested that whenever he finds himself saying, “My poor crippled hands,” that he follow it with “My magnificent legs that let me walk every day without cane or walker.” That does not mean ignoring the painful or disabled. It means balancing it with occasional thoughts of how lucky we are to have so many working parts! We have to work a little to give the positive thoughts space in our brains.

Pay attention to bad things that are avoided. I recently tripped over a small stump and fell flat on my face during a practice hike to get ready for our trip to the mountains. When I picked myself up, I was very grateful to have only a deep bruise on my thigh, no broken bones. It will take a while for the gorgeous 8 inch bruise to go away, but I can still hike. Thank goodness!

Practice downward comparisons. That means thinking about how things could be worse, or were worse, or are worse for someone else. I don’t particularly like the idea of making myself feel more grateful by thinking of others who are worse off than I am. But it doesn’t have to be interpersonal. You can use downward comparison by remembering your own times of adversity or being aware of adversity avoided. The poet, Robert Pollock, said it thus: “Sorrows remembered sweeten present joy.” Here’s a work example. I have two friends who recently moved into the same department in the same company. One is relieved and happy because the situation seems so much better than before. The other is dissatisfied because the teamwork characterizing the old job is no longer there. The first has an easy time with downward contrast. The second will have to work a little harder to find reasons to be grateful.

Establish regular times to focus on being grateful. Gratitude is a character strength that can be enhanced with practice. So practice. Marty Seligman describes two exercises in Authentic Happiness, the Gratitude Visit and a form of keeping a gratitude journal. The efficacy of gratitude interventions has been studied with clinical populations (Duckworth, Steen, & Seligman, 2005) and student populations (Sheldon & Lyubomirsky, 2006).

When facing a loss or a difficult task or situation, remind yourself to be grateful both for what you haven’t lost and for the strengths and opportunities that arise from facing difficulties. Negative moods are catching, but positive ones can be as well. The character, Pollyanna, helped other people see the benefits in their situations by teaching them the Glad Game. Sometimes, having someone else see what is good in your own life makes it visible to you.

Elicit and reinforce gratitude in the people around you. Tennen and Affleck found that benefit-seeking and benefit-remembering are linked to psychological and physical health. Benefit finding involves choosing to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and avoiding the feeling of being a victim.

Gratitude is a character strength admired around the globe. To increase gratitude, a good first step is to notice the good things that happen to us, large and small. These practices can help us take fewer blessings for granted.

References

Aaronson, L. (2006). Make a gratitude adjustment. Psychology Today Online. Retrieved September 7, 2007 from http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20060227-000004.html

Duckworth, A. L., Steen, T. A., and Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Positive psychology in clinical practice. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 1, 629-651.

Emmons, R. & McCullough, M. E. (no date). Highlights from the research project on gratitude and thankfulness: Dimensions and perspectives of gratitude. Retrieved September 7, 2007 from http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/

Emmons, R.A., & McCullough, M.E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: Experimental studies of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377-389.

Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9, 111-131.

Seligman, M. E. P. (2003). Authentic happiness. New York: Free Press.

Sheldon, K. M. & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves. Journal of Positive Psychology. Special Issue: Positive Emotions, 1(2), 73-82.

Tennen, H. & Affleck, G. (2003). Benefit-finding and benefit-reminding. In C. R. Snyder & S. J. Lopez (eds.), Handbook of positive psychology, 584-587

Tuesday Tip: Increase Your Gratitude Every Day

Doug Hensch — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:59:05 +0000

The research from the last several years has proven that increasing the amount of gratitude in your life can have a profound effect on your level of happiness. Dozens of studies have lined up participants to write in gratitude journals and deliver gratitude letters.

In my own personal journey to being happier, I have delivered several gratitude letters and I began writing in a gratitude journal on a nightly basis several years ago. These exercises have increased my overall well being and the journal has been part of my daily ritual. After writing in my journal, I find it much easier to fall asleep and I have a better appreciation for what is ‘going right’ in my life (even after the worst of days).

Several days ago, however, I had an experience that made me exercise my strength of gratitude in a new way. I was brushing my one of my son’s teeth just before bed and he wouldn’t stand still. I had several hours of work in front of me after a very long day and my patience was at its end. Then, it dawned on me that I wouldn’t be brushing his teeth much longer, nor would he need a stool to see himself in the mirror. I focused on the smell of his hair, the scar on his ear, the very small patch of hair on his head that won’t grow because of the electrode stuck his head while he was being born, his blue beautiful blue eyes, and his uncontrollable goofiness.

Needless to say, my anxiety about work and the rough day left me immediately. So, while I continue to deliver gratitude letters and write in my gratitude journal every night, I have begun to scan my days for ways to be more grateful in the moment instead of waiting to write it down. It’s a great stress reliever and I now look at the temper tantrums, the interruptions at work, and the ever-expanding to-do list as things to be grateful for every day.

What are some things that occur in your daily life that might benefit from a moment of gratitude?

Free for Mother’s Day – “The Gift of Gratitude” from your child

happier.com — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:32:40 +0000

Celebrate Mother’s Day 2009 with The Gift of Gratitude.

Gratitude is having a sense that there are things in your life that you are happy you have… Gratitude is knowing what is good in your life and feeeling grateful for that influence. Gratitude is being able to recognize what goes well, and knowing how to say “Thank You.”

This Mother’s Day, give The Gift of Gratitude.

happier.com has developed a free Gift of Gratitude, allowing parents to help their young children build personalized Mother’s Day gifts that are truly from the heart.

Use the widget below to review The Gift of Gratitude.

The Gift of Gratitude – Mother’s Day 2009

View more presentations from happier.com.

To download The Gift of Gratitude letter, click here (PDF).

happier.com builds tests and tools to help people measure, track and improve their happiness online. The company produces the Gratitude Journal iPhone App and has a Gratitude Letter tool, allowing users to send video, text or audio gratitude letters with significantly more detail than the special Gift of Gratitude Mother’s day letter.

2 of 5: Gratitude – Positive Psychology in Hard Financial Times

Dr. Acacia Parks-Sheiner — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:10:32 +0000

In this series, Acacia Parks-Sheiner writes about approaches – each informed by research – that can help you start to want what you already have. This is the second part of a five-part series. Yesterday, Acacia introduced the topic of positive psychology in hard times. Today, she covers the first approach to using positive psychology in trying times: gratitude. Tomorrow, she writes about Social Connections and on Thursday, Know Thyself. Finally, on Friday, Acacia addresses the question: What Now?

In hard financial times, what can Positive Psychology do for us?

Part 2 of 5, by invited author Acacia Parks-Sheiner

Acacia Parks-Sheiner, MA (Ph.D. Pending)

Gratitude

One of the happiness-building strategies that has received a lot of attention in the research is gratitude (a topic about which I will be writing at length in a future blog post). We all have an intuitive sense of what it means to be grateful, and I bet most of us believe ourselves to be grateful people; indeed, if someone asked us, most us could probably say with complete sincerity that we are grateful for the good aspects of our lives. But it’s one thing to say “yeah, I’m grateful” when asked, and another thing entirely to live a life permeated by gratitude. It turns out that when it comes to happiness, there’s a big difference between gratitude on command and gratitude as an everyday habit.

The first step in getting from point A (gratitude on command, where most of us live by default) to point B (gratitude as an everyday habit) is to build a regular practice of contemplating and savoring the things for which you are grateful. Specifically, keeping a written record of your gratitude is quick (a few minutes a day), easy (all you have to do is write a few sentences), and cost-wise… well, let’s just say that it’s no $6 cup of hot chocolate; all you need is a notebook (or if you’re a technological geek like yours truly, an iPhone app). Expressing gratitude to others doesn’t cost much either – just the time it takes to formulate your thoughts, and the effort to express those thoughts to someone to whom you are grateful. And the best part? The research tells us that feeling grateful leads to a plethora of benefits, both psychologically and physically. Did you know, for example, that grateful people sleep better and exercise more than people who are not grateful? That people who experience gratitude on a regular basis cope better with negative events and life transitions than people who do not experience gratitude frequently?

Unlike a new gadget, which costs a bundle and inevitably becomes obsolete, gratitude is both free and constantly renewable. Even better? It doesn’t just feel good in the short-term – the benefits stick with you over time in the form of improved relationships and good health.

Tomorrow, Acacia writes about Social Connections.