You’ve probably heard of Gretchen Rubin. More than 60,000 people subscribe to her blog The Happiness Project and email newsletter, and the blog is carried on outlets including Slate, the Huffington Post and RealSimple.com. December, 2009 will bring the publication of her book, The Happiness Project, available for pre-order at a discount through the happier.com store.
In Gretchen’s words:
My happiness project has convinced me that it’s possible to be happier by taking small, concrete steps in your daily life. In my book and on this daily blog, I write about what I’ve learned as I’ve test-driven the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture. Plutarch, Samuel Johnson, Benjamin Franklin, St. Thérèse, the Dalai Lama, Oprah, Martin Seligman…I cover it all.
Doug, a member of the team at happier.com, recently asked Gretchen about her journey so far:
What initially made you interested in writing about happiness?
I was riding on a city bus on a rainy day, and I had a rare moment of reflection. “What do I want from life, anyway?” I thought. “I want to be happy.” But I realized I didn’t spend any time thinking about what it meant to be happy, or whether I was happy, or how I could be happier. At that moment I thought, “I should have a happiness project – and think about happiness, and make changes in my life, in a systematic way!” (I’m a former lawyer so that’s my way of approaching things.) I started my happiness project the next day. I didn’t immediately think about writing a book about it; that came later.
What would you say is the single easiest way for people to be happier at Work? Home? Social life?
Philosophers and scientists agree: probably THE key to happiness is having strong relationships with other people. Make time for the people in your life. Make some fun plans. Join or start a group. Help someone else. Call someone. Remember birthdays. Celebrate holidays. Get to know someone new. The more strong relationships you have, the more likely you are to describe yourself as very happy.
What is the most surprising thing that you have learned about happiness over your year with the happiness project?
I was surprised to discover the truth of the theory that “novelty and challenge bring happiness.” I thought that in my case, familiarity and mastery would bring more happiness. But to test that theory, I started a blog – a challenge that made me feel intimidated and insecure. And my blog has turned into a GIGANTIC source of happiness for me. So now I look for other ways to bring novelty and challenge into my life. It’s a taxing way to get happiness, but it’s worth it, because it yields such great bang for the buck.
Who are the happiest people that you have encountered?
What qualities did they have? Do you have any stories about people that immediately come to mind? That’s a great question. It’s really worth studying the people who seem very happy, because they have qualities that we can all emulate. They seem very kind. Kindness is a much-overlooked virtue, to my mind. They seem light-hearted – even if they aren’t playful (which they sometimes are, but not always), they can laugh at themselves and at tough situations. They are loving: they really listen, they go out of their way to help even when it’s not convenient, they think about other people’s needs.
But happy people come in different flavors. Some are goofy, some are serene, some are intense. It’s interesting, though, how attractive they are. When you’re around a really happy person, you want to be around that person MORE.
What often disguises itself as happiness, or a road to happiness, but is actually not?
I think people often give themselves a “treat” when they want a happiness boost – but all too often, the things we do to treat ourselves don’t make us happy in the long run. Having an extra glass of wine, eating ice cream out of the carton, having a cigarette, splurging on a new pair of shoes, leaving a big mess…these are things that feel like a treat but in the end, often make us feel worse. If you feel the urge to give yourself a treat, ask yourself, “Will this really make me happy, in the long run?” Try to find ways to treat yourself that don’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.
If you are feeling down, what can you do to give yourself a boost?
One of the quickest ways to give yourself a boost is to do something nice for someone else. Here’s a suggestion: become an organ donor! Sign the online registry and/or tell your family you want to be a donor. With that single quick act, you may save the life of five people one day! It’s huge! If you’re already an organ donor, try taking a ten-minute walk outside. It will boost your energy, heighten your alertness, and break up your day. Even better, take a friend with you.
Do you have a favorite happiness quote or metaphor?
Ah, I have so manyI I love quotations and have so many wonderful quotations. Here’s one: “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Looking for a new book? We’ve selected 30 of the best books about the science of happiness. Written by the happier.com experts and other thought-leaders, these books are the best place to go to learn about the research and practice of positive psychology and ways to start getting happier.
When we come across a new book or one of our experts recommends one, we’ll add it to the bookstore as soon as it’s available. And since the bookstore is actually run by amazon.com, you can use your existing account with the site.
Have suggestions for books to add or questions about what’s included? Just let us know!
Books include:
Curious? by Todd Kashdan
Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson
Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Todd Kashdan’s latest book, Curious?, is a must read for anyone serious about improving their own happiness and well being. He mixes science, story-telling, and some very practical advice to help us all reap the rewards of heightened levels of curiosity in our lives.
While I found the entire book (from it’s sparse, bright yellow cover to its in-depth use of research) useful and fun, there were several elements that really caught my attention and that I put into practice almost immediately.
First, Todd displaces the notion that happiness is the ultimate goal in life. He writes that we should consider meaning, maturity, wisdom, and compassion in addition to being happier. His definition of curiosity (”recognizing novelty and seizing the pleasures and meaning that they offer us”) sets the stage for a much deeper understanding of this word and the enormous impact that practicing curiosity can have on us. So, much like a business that writes a mission statement, having a purpose in life helps you make decisions regarding your career, family, friends, where to live, etc. Meaning and purpose provide us with a foundation that helps us stay in sync with our interests and values.
Besides helping create this strong foundation, curiosity has some very tangible benefits, as well.
- Health: There is some promising research showing that higher levels of curiosity may reduce your risk for some neurological diseases and even reverse the degenerative effects.
- Intelligence: The evidence supports the case that increasing one’s curiosity can lead to higher IQ tests scores in both adults and kids.
- Meaning & Purpose: Curiosity is the driving force that allows us to try new things, learn from our experiences, and contemplate our futures.
- Social Relationships: Closed-minded people are much more likely to rely on stereotypes and they fail to see people in a greater context.
- Happiness: In several well-documented studies, curiosity is at or near the top of the list in terms of predicting a person’s level of happiness.
On the other hand, curiosity taken to an extreme can be harmful. It is not meant to be the relentless search for the “truth.” In fact, the need for certainty dampens the positive effects of curiosity and limits our ability to learn and adjust, as needed.
In short, Todd has done a masterful job of explaining that curiosity probably did not kill the cat and that the intentional practice of curiosity will actually help you lead a life of positive emotions, engagement, and meaning.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
Wouldn’t it be great to create a workplace employees, customers and management all loved? This is the question that frames the new book by Roxanne Emmerich, Thank God It’s Monday!: How to Create a Workplace You and Your Customers Love.
Emmerich’s book has reached the best-seller list recently, ranking in the top-10 on lists from Amazon.com, The Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. In her book, Emmerich chronicles real companies where motivational “kick-butt kick-offs” led to transformational changes in attitude, productivity and earnings.
While the language and the stories in the book are uniquely hers, Emmerich’s strategies draw on key tools from within positive psychology. She directly refers to Martin Seligman’s “profound research” documented in Learned Optimism
as having a significant role in changing the tenor of a workplace. In fact, there are a number of positive psychology tools, some available on happier.com, to help put the “TGIM” strategy to work.
Enthusiasm: Light That Fire in Your Belly
Enthusiasm is a “moment-by-moment choices” explains Emmerich. And for plenty of workers, it can be a hard choice to make. How do you get out of a rut and become contagiously enthusiastic? Here’s an easy way to start:
Discover, and use, your strengths. Getting started is easy — every single person has a set of top strengths. There’s no heavy-lifting here. Just take the free VIA Strengths Survey and get instant results on your top strengths. Then, put them to work. Focus, each day, on using one of your top strengths in a new way during work. Doing this is fun — these are things you’re already good at — and it can be pretty easy. And if, at first blush, the strength doesn’t seem like it’s relevant to work, then find a way to make it so. Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence doesn’t have to be a walk in the park — take a moment to recognize a colleague’s achievements. And Self Regulation can mean checking your email every 2 hours instead of every 2 minutes. Find a way to use one of your strengths in a new way during work. Within no time, you will be more enthusiastic. It’s fun, lasting and authentic.
Want more guidance? The Discover Your Strengths plan on happier.com provides tests, tools and assistance to make it easier.
Giving: Ignited Spirits Through Profound Service
Emmerich points out that “customer satisfaction” isn’t good enough, especially if they are weighing “satisfaction” against a lower price elsewhere, when deciding where to do business. “Customer success is what matters: making a lasting difference, transforming your interactions from a simple business transaction to a profound exchange between two human beings that creates a transformation of more success for the customer.”
As you begin giving, put a number to your progress. Track and measure your results. In addition to asking “Have I made a difference?” try taking the free Positivity Test, developed by Barbara Fredrickson, at the University of North Carolina. Better yet, take the test before you start giving. Try and establish a baseline. Then, once you start giving, take the test every day, for a week. Then take it every few days. Surely, your results will bounce up and down a bit. But if you’re really giving, and if you’re achieving customer success, your positivity ratio will increase. And you’ll be increasing the positivity of others.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
happier.com is pleased to be working with Barbara Fredrickson, author of the new book Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive.
Do you have any questions you’d like to ask Dr. Fredrickson? Use this brief online form to suggest a question.
happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.
