She travels alone to Honduras, Egypt, and Europe.
She kicks back at night with a glass of wine.
She lives on a tropical island and is always planning her next adventure.
Get ready for this…
She is 93-years-old and a self-proclaimed “recycled teenager.”
She is my stepfather’s mom. On Friday when I saw her in Los Angeles, I asked about a big bruise on her arm.
She got the bruise pulling and tugging and yanking her giant piece of luggage from baggage claim.
“What? Nobody offered to help you?” I asked
“No. So I did it myself.”
She wasn’t complaining. It’s not her style. How could nobody offer to help a 93-year-old lady get her heavy bag from baggage claim?!
On a similar note, my wife was riding the subway to work this week. She’s 33 weeks pregnant. Yet most of the time, nobody stands up to giver her their seat. They bury their heads into their mobile devices, hoping not to make eye contact with her and continue playing Candy Crush.
This made me think back several months ago. I was walking down the jetway to board a plane.
I accidentally kicked a woman trying to help her toddler out of the stroller. She said to me, “Aren’t you gonna say sorry?”
Before I could apologize, the torrent of passengers pushed me past her and onto the plane.
I was THAT guy, just like the people in the subway, stuffing their face into their mobile devices and in the process, disconnecting from the human experience.
I ask you as I ask myself: Do the little things matter anymore? Would I have stood up on the subway for a pregnant woman or helped a 93-year-old lady pulling her bag from baggage claim?
Here’s my answer: I would have helped if I saw them, but I probably would NOT have seen them because I would be reading something on my iPhone.
When you stand up for someone on the subway, you stand up for yourself, for your own dignity.
When you help an old lady get her luggage, you relieve another’s burden, and release your own.
The Course in Miracles says, “What you give to others you give to yourself.”
Poet Mark Nepo tells a story of a little girl he once saw in Honduras. She was slowly but surely pulling the wings off a butterfly and saying, “Pobrecita, pobrecita.” (“Poor little thing.”)
It turns out the little girl had endured great hardship, having lost both her parents and brother.
Nepo explained the sad symbolism of her action, “What we don’t face as our own, we perpetrate on others.” Whether that is active (pulling the wings off a butterfly) or passive (ignoring a 93-year-old), it is real for everyone.
I ask you as I ask myself, what are you pretending not to see because you are are so damn busy?
The question is never… does someone nearby need your help? The question is… are you seeing them?
What you see (or don’t see) around you is merely a refection of what you see (or don’t see) within you.
Nepo speaks of the worst people in history, the Hitlers and Milosevics, who didn’t just wake up one morning and become terrible. They made choices, one at a time, because they did not have the courage to give up illusions and look within.
Let’s flip it. The great ones among us don’t suddenly wake up and become great. They make choices, one a time, because they do have the courage to look within and work through (rather than run from) their issues.
Putting it in everyday terms: courage is the daily decision to move through your own stuff.
Today, look around. Actively seek out someone you can help, whether an old woman… or yourself. It is all one in the same.