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Researchers Measure Smiles to Predict Who Stays Married

happier.com — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:20:27 +0000

The December 13th New York Times Magazines features this piece by Jeff Stryker

Say cheese and stay married? Yes, according to Matthew Hertenstein, a psychology professor at DePauw University in Greencastle, Ind. He and three colleagues recruited more than 600 people for a review of their college yearbook photos. The researchers rated the yearbook smiles by coding muscle movements around the mouth and the eyes.

The researchers found a surprising correlation: the less people smiled, the more likely they were to later divorce. The effect was statistically significant, though not huge. But when Hertenstein compared the top 10 percent of brightest smilers with the bottom 10 percent of weakest smilers, the “lowest were five times more likely to be divorced than the top.”

The researchers also recruited 51 people to submit photos of their choosing. The relationship between smiling and staying married held even for the photographs this group submitted — posed and candid shots from when the subjects were, on average, 10 years old. “I’m more confident in the smiling effect because it held even with a) childhood and b) candid photos,” Hertenstein says. Studying smiles in photos is only the latest in what has come to be called “thin slice” research, popularized in the book “Blink,” a couple of best sellers ago from Malcolm Gladwell. For example, from very short video clips, research volunteers have determined with surprising accuracy the personality, socioeconomic status and sexual orientation of those on camera. A still photograph is merely an extremely wafer-thin slice.

The why of the smiling effect remains elusive. Hertenstein acknowledges potentially “dozens” of possible explanations, going with perhaps the most straightforward and benign. He says his “gut inclination is that people who smile on average in their photos have a positive disposition that serves them well in life and relationships.”

He cautions that his study is “not destiny.” Readers who frowned in their yearbook photos are not putting off the inevitable if they fail to rush to court to file for divorce. “There are plenty of people who defy the odds,” offers the professor, only slightly reassuringly.

Click here for the original post.

What is Solutions-Focused Coaching?

happier.com — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:56:53 +0000

At happier.com, we were pleased to hear about the new workbook and study guide: Positively Speaking. We asked coach and consultant Paul Z. Jackson, the guide’s author, to explain to us the solutions-focused approach that characterizes his work.

What is solutions-focused coaching?

One of the managers I have been coaching complained that her meetings often began (and indeed continued) on a negative note. In an atmosphere of moaning and blame, she was finding it nearly impossible to shift the conversations from such ‘problem-talk’ into discussion of what was wanted and what could be done.

We decided that she would start the next meeting with a warm-up round of introductions, with each participant invited to state one thing that they were looking forward to during the day. She tried this and reported that the meeting was transformed. It turned out that her colleagues were delighted to engage in ‘solution-talk’ – they simply needed to be nudged out of their habits and into a more constructive way of working together.

This skill of shifting conversations from problem-talk to solution-talk can save you and the people around you a great deal of time, reduce stress and generate more positive collaborations. Learn more about these skills with the Positively Speaking workbook.

Paul Z Jackson is an inspirational consultant and coach, who devises and runs training courses and development programs in strategy, leadership, teamwork, creativity and innovation.

Co-director of The Solutions Focus www.thesolutionsfocus.co.uk, Paul is a popular keynote speaker and workshop presenter at conferences around the world.

happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.

Loneliness May Be Contagious

happier.com — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:26:26 +0000

People who feel isolated may spread mistrust of social connections

Originally posted on ScienceNews, by Lisa Grossman

Staying socially connected may be just as important for public health as washing your hands and covering your cough. A new study suggests that feelings of loneliness can spread through social networks like the common cold.

“People on the edge of the network spread their loneliness to others and then cut their ties,” says Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School in Boston, a coauthor of the new study in the December Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. “It’s like the edge of a sweater: You start pulling at it and it unravels the network.”

This study is the latest in a series that Christakis and James Fowler of the University of California, San Diego have conducted to see how habits and feelings move through social networks. Their earlier studies suggested that obesity, smoking and happiness are contagious.

Credit: Cacioppo et al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

The new study, led by John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago, found that loneliness is catching as well, possibly because lonely people don’t trust their connections and foster that mistrust in others.

Loneliness appears to be easier to catch from friends than from family, to spread more among women than men, and to be most contagious among neighbors who live within a mile of each other. The study also found that loneliness can spread to three degrees of separation, as in the studies of obesity, smoking and happiness. One lonely friend makes you 40 to 65 percent more likely to be lonely, but a lonely friend-of-a-friend increases your chances of loneliness by 14 to 36 percent. A friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend adds between 6 and 26 percent, the study suggests.

Not all networks researchers are convinced. Jason Fletcher of the Yale School of Public Health says that the studies’ controls are not good enough to eliminate other explanations, like environmental influences or the tendency of similar people to befriend each other. Fletcher has published a study (in the same issue of the British Medical Journal that reported that happiness is contagious) showing that acne, headaches and height also appear to spread through networks even though they are not likely to be transmitted socially.

“We’re on the side that [social contagion] exists — we’re not naysayers,” Fletcher says. “We just think the evidence isn’t clear enough on many of the outcomes.”

Despite its shortcomings, some researchers are enthusiastic about the study.

“I think this is a groundbreaking paper in loneliness literature,” says Dan Perlman, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro who specializes in loneliness. “Maybe there are people who are skeptical, but this is important work. I think that it should get a pat on the back.”

Christakis and Fowler examined data from a long-term health study based in Framingham, Mass., a small town where many of the study’s participants knew each other. The Framingham study followed thousands of people over 60 years, keeping track of physical and mental heath, habits and diet.

Each participant also named friends, relatives and neighbors who might know where they would be in two years, when it was time for the next exam. From this information, Christakis and Fowler reconstructed the social network of Framingham, including more than 12,000 ties between 5,124 people. The researchers plotted how reported loneliness, measured via a diagnostic test for depression, changed over time.

The results indicate that lonely people tend to move to the peripheries of social networks. But first, lonely people transmit their feeling of isolation to friends and neighbors.

Feeling lonely doesn’t mean you have no connections, Cacioppo says. It only means those connections aren’t satisfying enough. Loneliness can start as a sense that the world is hostile, which then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“Loneliness causes people to be alert for social threats,” Cacioppo says. “You engage in more self-protective behavior, which is paradoxically self-defeating.” Lonely people can become standoffish and eventually withdraw from their social networks, leaving their former friends less well-connected and more likely to mistrust the world themselves.

Because loneliness is implicated in health problems from Alzheimer’s to heart disease, Cacioppo says, reconnecting to those who have fallen off the network may be vital for public health.

Five Tips for Reducing Holiday Stress

happier.com — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:32:44 +0000

Let’s play a game of associations: close your eyes and write down five words that instinctively come in mind when you hear the word…: “Holidays”. If you’re like me, your ideal thought of the Holiday season involves sitting on a snowy day next to the fireplace wearing a sweater while reading a book. Chances are you used words with a strong positive association like, friends, happiness, snowman, family, gifts…. And, if you are like me, then you keep wondering why your Holiday season never turns out that way.

Every year I experience a moment (usually around December 10th) when I realize that it got to me again: Usually it’s when I walk around with dilated pupils and a racing heart, while mailing cards, buying gifts, and making dinner plans. Holiday stress is almost inevitable, but there are ways to make it better.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Express Gratitude:

Expressing gratitude is probably the most time-efficient thing one can do to regain a sober perspective and be reminded of the goodness in life. Write 2-3 things you are grateful for in a gratitude journal at least every other day. Carry your journal with you if you can, or better yet use happier.com’s iPhone app!

1. Schedule me-time in your calendar:

Schedule a few hours a week where you have absolutely no commitments. During this time do not answer the phone, look at email or do any chores. Try to spend this time by yourself, exercising, reading, or journaling.

3. Give others non-tangible gifts that only you can give:

Think about friends and family members who may long for something only you have: a good word, a smile, a special skill. Sometimes a small gesture goes a long way. Fix your brother’s car, or write a small poem to your sweetheart. Give a gift that money can’t buy.

4. Put a stress emergency kit in your pocket

Carry in your pocket a de-stressing activity that you can do on the go. Use a small pocket book for journaling, or your cell phone’s camera for taking pictures of happy moments you encounter. If you carry a smart mobile device, get one of the many emerging mobile software applications that can help you stay centered and in tune with yourself even in the most hectic scenarios.

5. Get enough sleep

It’s stating the obvious but can’t be repeated too many times. Sleep deprivation is the mother of everything stress and a recipe for disaster. Be aware of that critical time at night when you want to just write a few more cards or drop dead in front of the TV, and just make the decision to turn in.

This post was authored by Ran Zilca. Ran is the CEO of Signal Patterns, developers of assessment and positive psychology applications. Ran’s background covers a wide range of R&D leadership roles including analytics, biometrics, and software development at the IBM research division and the Israeli Defense Forces. You can follow Ran on twitter.

Sweaty Magic: Spinning Challenge into Positive Growth

happier.com — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:39:29 +0000

Angie LeVan is a resilience coach, positive psychology consultant and an associate of Positive Psychology Services, LLC. Angie has studied the science of well-being in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program at University of Pennsylvania, and she is a blogger on the topic of resilience for psychologytoday.com. See her profile in our practitioner directory.

Stress has a bad, bad rap – fair criticism or the product of paranoia? Or perhaps both? While chronic stress can definitely wreak havoc on our minds and bodies, research shows that some stress is actually healthy. Unfortunately, these days, we do everything we can to either avoid it or mute it – from spa treatments to stress management programs to a frosty cold beer. While I certainly agree that managing stress is a smart and useful tactic, I also believe that by going to great to great lengths to avoid it, we’re actually doing ourselves a great disservice. We may be stunting our opportunities for growth. Even when we’re faced with ‘bad’ stress, we have healthy, protective mechanisms for coping with it. In fact, we have the ability to thrive despite and even because of challenge.

In the world of academics, thriving is “characterized by the individual displaying less reactivity when faced with stressors, and resulting in a faster recovery or consistently higher level of functioning”. To the rest of us, thriving is Sweaty Magic – the ability to spin hardship, whether unexpected adversity or self-imposed challenge, into positive growth! But how does one do that, you ask? Interestingly enough, there are many research-supported tricks of the trade for thriving. Above all, Thrivers are masters of challenge and change and grow through challenge and hardship. They know how to lean into stress, how to approach it, relying on their self-resources! Here are a few of the tricks Thrivers use to turn adversity, hardship and challenge into gold-medal value!

1.   Thrivers use Positive Illusions
Findings in social cognition research indicate that there are three different types of positive illusions people use towards growth: 1) self-enhancement; 2) unrealistic optimism; and 3) an exaggerated perception of personal control. Researcher Shelly Taylor and colleagues “suggest that the ability to maintain positive illusions provides the individual with reserve resources” for managing everyday stressors as well as in helping people cope with extremely stressful circumstances. According to these psychologists, positive illusions act as buffers and may even help people find meaning, which may later lead to positive growth.
2.   Thrivers use Positive Reinterpretation – they look for something good in what has or is happening. For example, when Dan lost his job this past May, he decided to look at it as an opportunity to reassess his career path as well as his life values. In doing so, Dan found a new job he truly enjoys, and he now has more time to spend with his family.
3.   Thrivers have a sense of Self-Efficacy (the psychological phenomenon – “I think I can”) – they believe they are capable of handling stressful situations, whether positive or negative, and they also believe that they can succeed in many different areas of life. Hence, the old adage “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right” holds more than a grain of truth, especially when it comes to thriving.

Not only are these tricks vital for growing through hardship, they’re also crucial to achieving your best life through overcoming obstacles in achieving goals and cultivating positive change.

Seeing is Believing: The Power of Visualization

happier.com — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:58:23 +0000

Despite the great case for getting off our duffs, there are some amazingly cool and effective practices we can do from the comfort of our own recliners – without even budging a finger. For instance, you could practice your golf swing, work out your muscles, prepare to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, hone your chess skills, practice for tomorrow’s surgery, and you can even prepare for your best life!

Mental practice can get you closer to where you want to be in life, and it can prepare you for success! For instance, Natan Sharansky, a computer specialist who spent 9 years in prison in the USSR after being accused of spying for US has a lot of experience with mental practices. While in solitary confinement, he played himself in mental chess, saying: “I might as well use the opportunity to become the world champion!” Remarkably, in 1996, Sharansky beat world champion chess player Garry Kasparov!

A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting. In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue, an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads”. He found that a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for 3 months following the mental training.

Noted as one form of mental rehearsal, visualization has been popular since the Soviets started using it back in the 1970s to compete in sports. Now, many athletes employ this technique, including Tiger Woods who has been using it since his pre-teen years. Seasoned athletes use vivid, highly detailed internal images and run-throughs of the entire performance, engaging all their senses in their mental rehearsal, and they combine their knowledge of the sports venue with mental rehearsal. World Champion Golfer, Jack Nicklaus has said: “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head”. Even heavyweight champion, Muhammad Ali, used different mental practices to enhance his performance in the ring such as: “affirmation; visualization; mental rehearsal; self-confirmation; and perhaps the most powerful epigram of personal worth ever uttered: “I am the greatest””.

Brain studies now reveal that thoughts produce the same mental instructions as actions. Mental imagery impacts many cognitive processes in the brain: motor control, attention, perception, planning, and memory. So the brain is getting trained for actual performance during visualization. It’s been found that mental practices can enhance motivation, increase confidence and self-efficacy, improve motor performance, prime your brain for success, and increase states of flow – all relevant to achieving your best life!

For someone like Matthew Nagle who is paralyzed in all four limbs, mental practices have transformed his entire way of life. Matthew had a silicone chip implanted in brain. Astonishingly, after just 4 days of mental practice, he could: move a computer cursor on a screen, open email, play a computer game, and control robotic arm. While our circumstances may be less stringent than Matthew’s, it’s quite obvious that every person can benefit from mental practices.

So, if athletes and chess players use this technique to enhance performance, how can it enhance the lives of the ‘average joe’? First, study results highlight the strength of the mind-body connection, or in other words the link between thoughts and behaviors – a very important connection for achieving your best life. While your future may not include achieving a great physique or becoming the heavy-weight champ or winning the Masters Tournament, mental practice has a lot to offer you. Try it here!

Begin by establishing a highly specific goal. Imagine the future; you have already achieved your goal. Hold a metal ‘picture’ of it as if it were occurring to you right at that moment. Imagine the scene in as much detail as possible. Engage as many of the five senses as you can in your visualization. Who are you with? Which emotions are you feeling right now? What are you wearing? Is there a smell in the air? What do you hear? What is your environment? Sit with a straight spine when you do this. Practice at night or in the morning (just before/after sleep). Eliminate any doubts, if they come to you. Repeat this practice often. Combine with meditation or an affirmation (e.g. “I am courageous; I am strong”, or to borrow from Ali, “I am the greatest!”).

What to do with your "Not Grateful For" list on Thanksgiving

happier.com — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:30:12 +0000

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is a member of the happier.com Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. “Using a scientifically based and integrative approach (positive psychology, neurology, yoga and alternative therapies) to enable the Mind, Body, Spirit and Will to flourish.”

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, I get on the phone with my weekly client. She’s feeling guilty that she’s not feeling grateful. She met a woman the night prior whose son was handicapped and was able to walk a little bit. Her outpouring of gratitude, made my client feel worse about her depleted attitude of gratitude. She said she couldn’t even think of what she was grateful for.

When I encouraged her to make her list, she immediately asked if she could make her “not grateful for” list. I said, “Of course.” Positive psychology is not about solely focusing on positive emotions and denying the negative. Here is the exercise that I did with my client that enabled us to work through the negative events she was facing and honor the positive.

- We made two lists: 1) Things she is grateful for in her life and 2) Things she is NOT grateful for in her life.
- She tallied both lists. She had 12 things we was grateful for and 13 things she was not grateful for.

Keeping Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden and Build Theory in mind, I knew that my client needed to be above a ratio of 3 positive to every 1 negative emotion in order to flourish or feel better about her life. This required increasing her gratitude list.

-   I asked her to go back to the list of things she was grateful for and find 24 more things. I explained that anything could be a source of gratitude; it was just a matter of shifting perspectives. At first it was difficult for her, but quickly gratitude for the garbage man, memories of Lake George and knowing that her dog has a good new home, made it to the list.
-   Then we addressed the “NOT grateful for list.” One by one we looked at the things that essentially were not working in her life and reframed them as things that she was wanting. So she was, “not grateful for her friends all starting to move out of the neighborhood.” This discontent alludes to her “wanting strong connections to friends who live nearby.” Her feeling not grateful for her son treating her rudely indicates her strong desire to have a respectful and communicative relationship with her children.
-   I asked her to read back to me her 36 Gratitudes and 13 Wants list.

In my practice, measuring the effectiveness of my work with clients is important. Prior to the start of this exercise I asked her to rate her positive mood on a scale of 1-10 (1 being dismal and 10 being highly positive). She rated herself at a 3 or 4. At the end of this exercise, she gave herself a 5.

Again, I was not trying to create a positive-disillusion in a situation. I was honoring where my client was and using basic tenets of positive psychology to find the area of her life where did have control over, and work there.

After this exercise, she remembered there was a writing class going on in a week that she wanted to register for. Without my prompting, she committed to registering for it as soon as we got off the phone. She was far from being in “peppy land”. However, she had stepped out of her negative rut and seemed to have a handle on some of the negative circumstances of her life.

Negative emotions are beautiful because they alert us to what we are wanting. Reframing “not grateful for lists” in the form of wants enables us creatively problem solve what to do about them. Use this exercise to take control of your reality and your thanks this thanksgiving.

What are people thankful for RIGHT NOW? Live feed from twitter

happier.com — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:02:37 +0000

This Thanksgiving, take a moment to share what you are thankful for.
Join happier.com on twitter (@happier) and let us know what you’re thankful for with the hashtag “#thankfulfor”

Finding the Silver Lining in the Recession

happier.com — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:44:04 +0000

NOVEMBER 24, 2009Robert Hood, MSNBC

Some people are turning the economic recession into an opportunity for personal growth and financial reward. NBC’s Robert Hood reports.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Now Available: Positive Psychology Workbooks For Coaches and Enthusiasts

happier.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:21:01 +0000

By invited author Robert Biswas-Diener

A quick look at the shelves in any major bookstore will convince you that positive psychologists have no trouble getting the word out about their exciting new science. Each year literally dozens of titles are published on happiness, meaning and living a better life. Because it is rooted in empirical study Positive Psychology has given the self-help market a much needed scientific makeover. One conspicuous hole in all this new information, however, is a more engaging way of presenting material. Reading books- even best sellers—is inherently a passive activity.

With this in mind a group of top names in Positive Psychology created a series of workbooks designed to allow readers to engage more fully with the material. These workbooks, including titles such as Invitation to Positive Psychology, Positive Motivation and Positively Happy, are written by recognized authorities on the topic. Each workbook, weighing in at more than 100 pages long, is full of reflective exercises and suggested activities that allow readers to go “beyond the books” and actually use this dynamic material in their own lives. Readers gain not only background information on the science but also practical tips, opportunities to step back and take stock of their goals and experiments they can try in an effort to craft a better life.

Learn more about these workbooks.