Tuesday’s Tip – Get Curious
Todd Kashdan’s latest book, Curious?, is a must read for anyone serious about improving their own happiness and well being. He mixes science, story-telling, and some very practical advice to help us all reap the rewards of heightened levels of curiosity in our lives.
While I found the entire book (from it’s sparse, bright yellow cover to its in-depth use of research) useful and fun, there were several elements that really caught my attention and that I put into practice almost immediately.
First, Todd displaces the notion that happiness is the ultimate goal in life. He writes that we should consider meaning, maturity, wisdom, and compassion in addition to being happier. His definition of curiosity (”recognizing novelty and seizing the pleasures and meaning that they offer us”) sets the stage for a much deeper understanding of this word and the enormous impact that practicing curiosity can have on us. So, much like a business that writes a mission statement, having a purpose in life helps you make decisions regarding your career, family, friends, where to live, etc. Meaning and purpose provide us with a foundation that helps us stay in sync with our interests and values.
Besides helping create this strong foundation, curiosity has some very tangible benefits, as well.
- Health: There is some promising research showing that higher levels of curiosity may reduce your risk for some neurological diseases and even reverse the degenerative effects.
- Intelligence: The evidence supports the case that increasing one’s curiosity can lead to higher IQ tests scores in both adults and kids.
- Meaning & Purpose: Curiosity is the driving force that allows us to try new things, learn from our experiences, and contemplate our futures.
- Social Relationships: Closed-minded people are much more likely to rely on stereotypes and they fail to see people in a greater context.
- Happiness: In several well-documented studies, curiosity is at or near the top of the list in terms of predicting a person’s level of happiness.
On the other hand, curiosity taken to an extreme can be harmful. It is not meant to be the relentless search for the “truth.” In fact, the need for certainty dampens the positive effects of curiosity and limits our ability to learn and adjust, as needed.
In short, Todd has done a masterful job of explaining that curiosity probably did not kill the cat and that the intentional practice of curiosity will actually help you lead a life of positive emotions, engagement, and meaning.
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I must say I got curious enough about Todd and his book to buy it at my local B&N. A big DITTO to Doug’s comments above.
As I look over my positive psych pile, I don’t recall anyone who suggests happiness (by itself) should be our goal, but Todd is the exemplar of pointing out other things which go into a life worth living. That explicit statement is tremendously valuable addition to the field.
Of the books I bought in the past half year, Lyubomirsky speaks of the HOW, Diener and Biswas-Diener first question the WHY, and Fredrickson details the optimum MIX of emotional experiences. Kashdan takes a different and fruitful tack.
Another thing I’m very curious about in Todd’s approach is whether there aren’t two stages or types of curiosity. There seems to me to be, first, a very open-minded novelty-seeking, then an extremely narrow focus on the target of our interest.
I highly recommend Kashdan’s book.
Doug and John, thank you for the extremely gracious comments about the book.
John, I absolutely agree with your two step approach to curiosity. We might refer to this as depth and breadth. With depth, we lack an agenda other than a desire to seek a more optimal level of novelty and stimulation. Sometimes its because we’re bored and trying to change our mood; sometimes its an attitude of being open and receptive to what is unique and interesting in our world (an attitude that we cultivate to be more frequent and enduring so that we extract more pleasure and meaning from people, places, and tasks).
But there are other ways to think about curiosity. We can think of curiosity as top-down vs. bottom-up. Bottom-up curiosity is when we passively stumble across something unusual or interesting. For me, it might be walking past a shirtless bodybuilder on the beach engrossed in a book on quantum physics. Top-down curiosity is when we actively wield our limited attention to purposely search for what is interesting or novel. For me, its when I open the door to my wife and kids after a day of work and I remind myself to suspend judgment and be open to whatever it is that excites them as I ask about their day.
One of the goals of this book was to show that curiosity is more complex and profound than many of us think, and that by acting on our curiosity, we explore, we discover, and we never stop evolving. Sounds like a good way to live to me….and its what I desire for myself and everyone I care about.
If anyone is interested in more, don’t hesitate to contact me. I also look forward to hearing from readers.
cheers,
Todd
Now you’ve got me curious to read your book… ha ha. Curiosity is my #1 VIA strength. I lead with curiosity in every arena of my life. If I could find a job that paid me for this skill, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Curiosity, of course, can have a dark side, though, if not tempered by self-discipline and structure. If it runs rampant, I think I could ‘be all over the place’ and everything would always be open-ended and unfinished. Sometimes I need to push myself to ‘just do it’ even when I have a hunkering for more and more information to feed my curiosity of ‘what else could there be that I can learn about this subject’. Kind of like analysis-paralysis. This could quickly take the pleasure of curiosity away and replace it with frustration andunhappiness. Do you discuss that in your book?
My most present challenge, these days, is to try to harness the power of my natural curiosity and channel it down a more unified, focused, singular path. I run on multiple paths at once, which makes branding difficult. I would love your thoughts on that.
Thank you for the insightful review and comments. I am definitely getting the book. I am a curious person by nature and love learning. I also agree with the previous comment that curiosity sometimes makes me unfocused. Just like creativity needs structure, perhaps, our curious explorations can also benefit from constraints. For example, I sometimes begin my day with a question and then try to relate everything I read, hear or see that day to my question. I find, it helps to channel my curiosity and builds the skills of association and pattern recognition. I guess, it would be an example of top-down curiosity.
Halelly and Anastasia, I am grateful that you might purchase the book. According to my publisher, I will get at least 2 cents that will go to my 2.5 year old twins college education fund….
Halelly, you raise a fantastic point that can be applied to any strength (but is surprisingly ignored by scientists and professors in this field). That is, strengths don’t occur in a vacuum and other personality traits and situations matter. If you are curious but lacking in empathy and primarily motivated by achievement (as opposed to gaining mastery and growing as a person), then you are liable to develop an obsessive passion. Instead of being in control, obsessive passions are in control and they get in the way of a balanced lifestyle. Besides the workaholic there are dancers that continue to practice despite ankle and knee injuries and people spending their entire paychecks and limited time and energy on collecting comic books with nothing left over for important people in their lives (if they even took time to create relationships besides mom and dad). I devote an entire chapter to the “dark side of curiosity.” I’ll keep you in suspense of the weird research and characters that I detail.
Anastasia, I completely agree. There is a see-saw between being curious and being guided by structure and rules. The key word is guided instead of being governed by constraints. What you describe is a beautiful day. Of the many goals of my work is to help people use their attention more wisely in the way you describe. We have a limited amount of attention at our disposal and when we train our mind, we can be profoundly aware and curious most of the time. This requires us to be more active, intentionally searching for novelty and uniqueness in the people we mistakenly think we know everything about and the jobs that we mistakenly think offer little opportunity for us to be playful and creative.
Please keep me posted on any insights, beefs, or stories that arise when reading the book. Keep in mind that its 33% cheaper on amazon….but of course, support those quirky mom and pop bookstores.
cheers,
Todd
When I finished reading the book Curious? I thought to myself, Wow – that’s about the best book for parents I’ve ever read! The well-being of our children/teens/young adults would be greatly improved if every parent would remember to stay curious and open-minded. After over 23 years of parenting, I believe that the strength of curiosity is the best listening tool/gift we can give our children. What is the value of anything they (our children) succeed in if they are not met with inquisitive and interested parents?
Loved the book!
@MarjieKnudsen
Marjie – Agreed. One of the best books on my list, as well! As for parenting, opening ourselves to be curious as parents encourages our kids to focus on what will make their own lives full of positive emotions, engagement, and meaning. If we close ourselves to curiosity, we are more likely to ‘push’ our kids in one direction, or another.