We asked Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, a member of the Positive Psychology Practitioners Directory, how she uses happier.com in her work.

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As a Happiness Coach I use many of the happier.com and positive psychology tools with my coaching clients. One of the most powerful tools is through the gratitude or Three Good Things exercise. I use this to apply Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden and Build Theory that positive emotions enable people to think creatively and proactively; positive emotions build intellectual, physical, social and psychological resources.

When most clients start coaching, there is some sort of pain or problem they are facing. They are unemployed seeking employment, their personal relationships are no longer satisfying, they are not happy in their bodies and need to make a change or their in a place of baseline “surviving” instead of thriving. If they weren’t in that place of dissatisfaction with something in their life they wouldn’t be seeking to learn tools and be supported by a coach.

Negative emotions on the other hand narrow our focus. To put it in another way, when you’ve stubbed your big toe, you’re not thinking about donating money to children in need in third world countries. When we are in pain we focus all of our attention on the immediacy of the pain with little regard for what’s happening around is that is incongruent with that pain.

When my clients are in that dissatisfied place, we have to first start building their positivity ratio so that we can problem solve, think creatively about how to utilize the resources they have around them, or to simply get them moving forward towards their goals. First, I start with where the client already is and tap into the positive emotion of HOPE. They have come to coaching because they are, at some level, hopeful that this will help them get more of what they want out of life.

Then we further build their positivity through the Three Good Things exercise. There is always something to be grateful for, whether it is big or small. It’s simply a matter of shifting your focus. Sometimes when clients start with me, it’s hard to find much positive going on in their lives. It’s not that they are depressed; they are in a negative space.

I send my clients to discover and utilize the Three Good Things exercise. I encourage them to use it daily for at least two weeks. We usually find that their happiness and optimism level increases, just like the research supports. As a coach, I don’t give my clients solutions. I ask them questions. The answers to questions such as, “What kinds of tasks do you enjoy doing?” or “What kind of characteristics would you love in a partner?” are easier to come up with when we’ve increased their positivity. Often we find resources, people and opportunities that already exist in their lives that they’ve simply overlooked because they simply were not looking for them in their negative state of mind.  I’ve found that utilizing the Three Good Things tool has made coaching more effective for my clients and encourage others to try it out for themselves.

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is a member of the happier.com Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. “Using a scientifically based and integrative approach  (positive psychology, neurology, yoga and alternative therapies) to enable the Mind, Body, Spirit and Will to flourish.”

happier.com is a personal trainer for your happiness. With more than a dozen tools and tests to help you measure, track and improve your happiness, you can trust the happier.com experts to help you reach your goals. Exclusive videos and a popular blog mean there’s something new to learn every day. Download the free iPhone application or find what you’re looking for with the Positive Psychology Practitioner Directory. happier.com is on Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter and has meetup groups in Washington, Philadelphia, and Portland, with more planned. Click here for a social media press release from our launch.