We’re a small team here and you’ll usually catch us in our Happier HQ office, cranking away. But today we took a break for Formal Monday and an awesome team holiday lunch. Here’s Happier Holidays to you from us — and a huge thank you for being part of our lives.
I just came across this video and—in addition to completely mesmerizing me—it’s totally making me happier. Need a quick boost and have a minute? Check it out!
As many of you have witnessed before, to see that little human being suddenly appear in the delivery room, all I could think was:
“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
Over the past 12 days, I have spent hours staring at his little toes and fingers and ears and lips that formed on their own in the womb and I thought,
“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
Last night, he lay on my lap and we watched SportCenter together and he lifted his tiny head to stare at me, I thought,
“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
And then, after the 12th consecutive sleepless night, as my wife and I lay awake shaking our heads at the ungodly hour of 3am, I thought to myself,
“I CAN BELIEVE IT!”
After doing my best to be supportive of my wife’s 24 hours of labor, I took a taxi home at 5am Sunday morning. It was both the most exhilarated and exhausted I’d ever been… all at once!
I told the taxi driver all about the night and how proud I was of my 6 lb 12 oz bundle of love… AND my wife for laboring for 24 hours!
And the taxi driver, parent of 3, said, “Get ready to be exhausted. You are not going to have anytime to yourself. Kids get sick. They are going to whine. They are going to take everything you have and ask for more.”
And I was thinking to myself, “Geeeez, I’m riding home with the Grinch.”
But then, the taxi driver said, “But you are going to have so much love in your life and it’s all worth it!”
Whether or not you have kids, you know that life is most raw, most awesome, and most wonderful when you are teetering at the edge of ENERGY AND EXHAUSTION, SUCCESS AND FAILURE, HOPE AND DESPAIR.
But you can’t stop digging in and stirring. Because as the taxi driver said, love is what comes from all those emotions.
You need every single one of your losses and failures, wins and triumphs, bad days and bad moods, great days and great moods… to create the alchemy of love.
It’s that blessed time of year… the days are shorter, the demands are greater, and P.S., you’re supposed to be super-happy right now, haven’t you heard? If you’re feeling stressed-out by the season, clearly you’re a Scrooge. (Or, you know, human.)
Many people love dressing up their homes for this month of festive holiday cheer, and some do not love it and do it anyway. Here’s our take on sure-fire holiday decor that’s sure to make you happier.
If you love to decorate, do! Does it make you happier? Do you see it as a joyful experience rather than a chore? Then have a blast! And don’t worry about whether it’s all perfect or meets with the neighbors’ approval. Provided that you’re not setting up a neon glo-dome projecting disco lights directly into someone else’s bedroom window, what you do on your property is your business.
If you don’t love to decorate, don’t! There is no law stating that you must decorate for the holidays. Not even if you’re super-religious. Not even if your mother says you should. Not even if Martha Stewart herself appeared to you in a vision to demand that create a table centerpiece out of pinecones, tinsel, and solid-gold acorns. It’s okay. Not everyone likes to deck the halls. Be honest with yourself.
Find fabulous compromises. If you have children, chances are you have an entire box (or two or three, depending on how many kids and how old they are) of kid-created decorations designed to make you ooh and aah. It can become… a lot. If you’re not a decorator or you don’t particularly love everything in the box, designate a corner or a wall where the kid(s) can showcase their goodies. If you are a decorator—one who loves for everything to look fancy, and feels that pipe-cleaner reindeer damage your aesthetic—do the same. Find small touches that are easy if you’re not big on a whole holiday makeover or tone it done from your dreams of a complete Winter Wonderland if the rest of your family isn’t into it. There’s always a way to make it work.
Figure out what matters to you and do that. If you love a cheesy decoration of questionable taste because it reminds you of important things, use it. If your family gathers ’round for the lighting of the candles or the trimming of the tree and you love it, do that. If you don’t celebrate anything at all but find yourself oddly drawn to a “Season’s Greetings” sign, give in. Or if you simply want to leave your home exactly as it is no matter your holiday plans, because that leaves you more time to enjoy family and friends, more power to you. Seriously.
Remember your holiday mantra. I don’t know what your holiday mantra is, but mine is, “This is not important in the grand scheme of things.” It helps me remember that the flurry of holiday activity that sometimes makes me believe every cookie swap or door wreath is theverymostimportant can pull me away from what really matters. So if I find myself muttering at tangled lights or otherwise bemoaning my lack of decorating skills, I stop, take a breath, and focus on what really matters. (It’s the food.) (Kidding! Just kidding!)
The best decoration for any home is inhabitants who are enjoying life. Everything else is just window dressing.
We talk a lot around here about how doing nice things for other people is one of the surest paths to being happier, so when I saw this video this morning, I knew we had to pass it along. If I didn’t already love the folks in the big brown trucks—saving me from a trip to the mall!—I’d adore them, now. Check this out:
Way to go, UPS. You made Carson happier, and you make us happier, too!
We talk a lot here at Happier about what it means to really practice gratitude. How do we focus on the good without becoming weighed down or bitter about the not-so-good? How and when is it appropriate to turn gratitude into action in a meaningful way?
Kellie Haddock lost her husband in a terrible accident ten years ago. The staff at Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando, however, were able to save her infant son (who was also in the accident)… and years later, she decided it was important to let the men and women who took care of her critically injured baby know exactly how grateful she was.
(Grab a tissue for this one. It’s worth it, but your mascara may not be safe.)
That’s gratitude. That’s choosing to be happier and spread that happiness around. That’s grace.
Read more about Kellie on her site, where you can also get a free download of her song, To Say Thank You, between now and Christmas.
Sometimes we feel like we have it. Other times we don’t.
The balance of power is always changing, whether at home, work, or amongst the 8 personalities that play a role in your inner life.
And of course, we all have those times when we feel powerless. Like somebody or something totally owns us.
We can change that and shift the balance of power RIGHT NOW. This is how:
In American culture, one of the ways we define “power” is the guy in the above picture with ginormous muscles and awesome physical strength. But really? Maybe that guy can lift you and your whole family in the air, but unless he can lift your heart and mind, it’s not power!
In his seminal book Power vs. Force, author David Hawkins defines power as a state of awareness, not a sensory experience, look, feel, or balance sheet.
In Hawkins’ research, these are the rarest states of awareness, based on one’s vibration. If you have questions, check out the book. It’s one of my favorites.
LOVE (500): .4% of the global population reaches this level of consciousness. According to Hawkins, love is not based on a relationship. It is permanent, unchanging, unconditional. How many people do you know who feel unconditional love all the time? Pretty rare, right?
JOY (540): This is even rarer than love, experienced by saints, advanced spiritual students, and healers. It’s based on enormous patience and persistence of positive attitude. How many people do you know who are always patient and positive? We are getting into very rarified territory here.
PEACE (600): Peace is attained by only 1 in 10 million people. Individuals at this level remove themselves from the world. All is alive and radiant. Total bliss. Either these people are hiding in nature, or they are very famous (e.g., The Dalai Lama or The Hugging Saint).
The higher one goes in Hawkins scale, the more powerful they become.
In other words, if you wish to become truly powerful, be more loving, more joyful, more peaceful… not more business savvy, political, or physically fit.
The greatest lesson here is resistance.
The reason Peace is so rare is because peace is a blend of all the emotions. Happy AND sad. Love AND anger. Calmness AND Anxiety.
Nobody in their right mind wants to feel sad or angry or anxious. So we go to great lengths to resist that which is uncomfortable. And then we spend a significant chunk of our time and energy resisting, griping, gossiping, living AGAINST rather than living FOR.
We think things like:
“That person at work has it out for me. I’m going to dominate them and show who’s better!”
“My ex is such an a-hole. I hope I never see them ever again.”
“The holidays are so depressing. I need a drink… make it three!”
All are forms of resistence.
When we allow ourselves to feel whatever comes up without resistance, conditions are conducive to peace.
Loosen, relax, open, breathe.
Power is and forever was yours. Whether or not you accept that is another conversation.